An Apology For A Really Dear Friend...

Hi guys, I know my story is long but it has been affecting me everyday so can you please read it. Thank you very much.


I've been really good friends with a girl at college for more than a year. We always joke about and have a great time together.

However, one day, me and her (can't tell name for confidentiality) went to our college library to study for an 'A' level exam which will be sitting in a weeks time from then. Another friend of mine entered the library and sat next to us, he started making jokes about her accent which is really English (this is mainly due to the fact that she lives in a really roughed up area where no one talks "proper" English) so she started making jokes back to him about his overuse of slang in every sentence he says.

I couldn't help myself and burst out laughing (I know you are meant to be quiet in a library but still....), I laughed so hard that tears streamed down from my eyes.

Then she looks at me and jokingly slaps my face lightly to make me stop laughing, I wanted to make it even so I lightly patted her cheek with the back of my hand, she was immensely shocked by what I did and slapped me again with all her strength (I don't whine about getting hit usually but that second slap stung).

I didn't want to start a fight with her so I grabbed her gloves which were on the table and chucked it across the table instead of hitting her.

In return, she took my 'A' level book and chucked it on the floor. I sat at another spot in the library, a few moments later she grabbed my book and the gloves and left the library. I got the book the next day, but since the day that incident happened in the library she hasn't been talking to me.

I tried testing her during the half-term that I still wanted to be friends with her. She replied to me and said many things which really shocked me, she said things like: she thought I was the nicest guy she's ever met but then she was wrong, when I slapped her on the face her face was stinging with pain for 20 mins (I couldn't believe this because even the people around me said that I didn't slap hard at all, I myself knew I barely slapped her) she said I didn't realize my own strength and it scared her, another thing she said was that I was embarrassed to be around her when I was with my other male friends (this is not true, my other friends make immature jokes that we are both lovers and I retaliate whenever they said that sort of stuff).

The incident in the library happened towards the end of year 12, I later tried to talk to her face to face and she said that there is no room for reconciliation.

Another day after that incident, we were in the library doing homework as it was due next lesson, I didn't understand one question so I asked her, she didn't reply but gave me a really sharp "do I know you?" look.

Now I am in year 13, a few weeks have passed and we still don't talk to each other, I find it especially awkward since she is in all my lessons and she was the person that I sat next to and talked to most in all my lessons before the incident but now I sit away from her and we don't talk.

To be honest I still consider her to be my friend, I have even bought some gifts during my summer holidays for her, I haven't really given it to her yet but I intend to at the right time. 

Can you guys kindly give me some useful ideas for how to apologize to her and be friends with her again?

Thank you very much and may God bless you all! 

Comments for An Apology For A Really Dear Friend...

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It's Okay
by: Anonymous

I just want you to know that it's okay. There is a lot of pain in the world. God lets us go through pain to make us the people we are meant to be. This argument with her might just be a faze. I honestly hope that you become friends with her again. I am going through some tough times too. I got mad and something that I didn't mean and that wasn't me, slipped out. My friends are mad at me now and I don't know if they will ever forgive me. All we can do is pray about it and ask for forgiveness. I hope that you guys become friends again and that this is put in your past. Thanks for reading this and God bless you.

Everything is gonna be alright!
by: Ellen Moore

Your story is much like mine. Let go of the situation, it will only make you sad.

Life is not always a ray of sunshine
by: Anonymous

I've been in a similar situation except mine was at work. The woman in question was like a sister to me however one day whilst we were joking about playfully she suddenly turned around and said I had just assaulted her.

As I am sure you can imagine I was shocked at what happened and in the end because I didn't want to get her into trouble for making a false allegation I ended up losing my job and the roof over my head.

I sent her several messages over the last few weeks telling her that whatever has happened has happened and if I truly upset her I am sorry and am willing to put everything behind us as I miss her.

I was shocked at her response telling me she no longer wanted anything to do with me and that I was dead to her. I replied saying that even after all she had falsely said about me I was still here trying to fight for our friendship. She merely replied that it showed how much of a fool I was.

At this point I honestly didn't know what to think anymore so I just replied that no matter what happens she will always have a special place in my heart and that if I had truly hurt her I was sorry but she should have known by then that I would never try to intentionally hurt her.

I haven't heard from her since and doubt I ever will. Initially it was really hard and I felt hurt and betrayed but the cold reality I realised after a few months is that I was ok before she came along and I'll be the same soon enough. It's just a matter of time.

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