An Apology To Victor

Dear Victor,

I am sorry if I ever made you feel like I didn't care about you. But you were my best friend, you ARE my best friend and to be honest you are more than my best friend you are my brother, my "bishh" the one that's always there when I want to talk, the guy that's up till 6 in the morning when I am sad and is there to sing to me on Skype and make everything better and even more than that I LOVE YOU.

I have liked you since the first couple of weeks we became friends 2 years ago and I have always loved you and I know you knew and I even knew you liked me too.

I don't know if you liked me as much as I did but just knowing that there was at least a part of you that kinda felt the same way about me kept me going. And to be honest I didn't care if we ever did go out just knowing you were there for me and that you were always going to be there for me was enough.

But now we don't talk anymore and you ignore me when I try to talk to you you don't reply to my texts and you don't make the smallest effort to even talk to me. And before, even if you never said it, I could feel the love between us not a boyfriend girlfriend love but that love that you share with a brother or a sister--that kind of warm kinda love that makes you feel special like there's someone out there that loves and cares about you.

And when I had you in my life I always knew how important you were for me. I never took one moment with you for granted.

I can't do anything but sit in my room and listen to sad Spanish music and cry all day and watch the videos I used to take of you singing to me in Skype and wish I could go back to the days I wouldn't blame my self for losing you.

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