Apologies and Weddings

It would seem that big occasions often surround apologies. In the case of weddings, which for many women is seen as the most important day of their life, there are often more apologies given and letters written that surround the event than on any other occasion.


Guests feeling snubbed, hosts and hostesses not adequately praised, prenuptial agreements misconstrued, family dynamics and tensions, high levels of emotion... these are but a few of the elements that often surround the big day and the months leading up to it.

But there are also those unexpected apologies from angles we don't even consider...



To My Boyfriend's Future Wife (Open On Your Wedding Day)
By G. from the USA

O, what a blissful day this is! You looked beautiful today: I'm sure you knew that.

Lord only knows how long it's been. I'm only seventeen right now, and marriage is not in neither mine nor your now husband's near future. We both have to get ourselves together, first.

But, regardless of age and futures, I love him. And he loves me. And we express that love through the mutual respect of keeping each others' purity; however, in recent days we seem to be having a rough time.

This is where you come in. You are a wonderful woman who fears the Lord and has a kind heart, simultaneously you're not afraid to tell it like it is and kick back. You're perfect for him.

And I'm really sorry.

Those things we did were not for me to do. Those firsts were not mine to be first. I stole these special expressions of love from you and took them for my own selfish reasons. And for that, I'm sorry.

And I know that he is sorry, too. But he has this awesome way of shrugging what he can't change off, while I have a tendency to dwell. It's an admiral trait of his, and I'm sure you've learned to love it.

I hope you enjoy this great night with your new husband. And I pray that you get the privilege of being his first at other things. But I'm sorry I took what I did, and I pray that you can forgive me.



For All The Weddings I've Missed
By 'The Wedding Misser' from Australia

Dear pretty much all my friends,

I'm so sorry I've missed so many of your weddings. I'm sorry I've put my career first. There are so many people that I know this has absolutely ruined our friendship. I never realised how big weddings were, how much effort goes in, how much heartache.. until I had my own. I just never understood the fuss and I realise how incredibly stupid and short-sighted this makes me.

Ten years ago I absolutely offended one of the kindest couples I know. You got married young and I said it was a mistake to get married at 19. I was living in a different city and I didn't make it to the wedding.

I keep on thinking about you guys. You recently separated and I feel terrible. I don't think it was a mistake getting married young, and I didn't think "he" would make "her" miserable, although a lot of our mutual friends did. I stupidly, just voiced what so many people were saying behind your backs. I really feel awful. And I'm sorry that you're not together anymore and I hope you both are OK.

I love my career but I have realised how alone this has made me. My husband is my best, and sometimes I think, only friend. I didn't realise it wasn't just people in the job market that you trample to get to the top, it's also friends who you don't show up for. Those are the people you truly trample.

If I could go back in time I wouldn't have travelled but I would have stood by all of you as MOH, BM, guest, whoever you needed me to be. I would have been the friend to you that you would have been to me and I would have realised that weddings aren't just 'a massive waste of time and money' but they're actually a show of friendship.

Guys, all of you, I can't apologise enough. I have changed... the other day I forked out a month's pay for a wedding o/s. If I could go back, I would. Peace out all.

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