Dear Lisa... I am really sorry and I know that doesn't even begin to make up for my awful treatment of you. I just hope you've been okay, and made new friends who have treated you well etc.
I am not trying to win you back but I just couldn't stop thinking after over 2 months... I feel awful about how I treated you and I have been conflicted about sending this since your last expressed wish to me was that I stopped contacting you.
I don't want to bother you, it is completely your choice whether or not to read this. I was such a fool. I immediately felt bad for hurting you just after I sent the final mean email but it was too late.
I hurt you so bad and had broken your trust for the last time. I had been hurting myself internally and had trust issues because of people that hurt me and depression anxiety etc. but that is no excuse for my hurtful insults towards you, humiliating you, putting you down, spreading lies and false accusations without having all facts etc.
I am sorry I accused you of wanting to hurt me for hurting him, saying I wanted to hurt you, and for threatening to get you fired. I want to someday have the chance to prove I can be the person you would want me to be and a nice loyal good friend that you deserve.
If given the chance we could start completely over. When you were first gaining trust in me we wouldn't talk about anything serious for however long it takes then slowly, very slowly we would start talking about more serious things. And just as slowly we could regain our friendship, but again it's up to you.
I hope someday I can get one last chance but I know I don't deserve one, nor do I expect you to want to give me another chance or even want to read this. But, I also know even if you don't hold a grudge you probably are convinced I am a phony that can't be trusted.
Finally before departing I want to thank you for everything, for putting up with my lack of self esteem and convincing me that I was a worthwhile person. I am sorry I ever had any doubts because I saw how dumb I was being but it was too late. I will just continue to work on being a better person in your honor and work on controlling my anxiety so I don't overthink and over analyze, and come to bad conclusions and take offense when no offense was intended.