Apology to my Husband

by Natalie
(Georgia)

I regretfully, cheated on my husband and I feel so incredibly bad about it. I want to put our family (we have two little ones) back together. I have written this letter to him. Please let me know what you all think. Do you think it will work?

Here it is:

Both of us know what I did, so I would rather not have to say what I am apologizing for. I am embarrassed and ashamed to say it, however if it helps you heal for me to actually say the words of what I did and then apologize I will do it for you.

What I did to you and our family was beyond heartbreaking. I have hurt all of us. I take full responsibility for hurting our family and breaking us up.

I was feeling hurt in our marriage and I was stupid and weak. I never thought that me of all people could do what I did.

Remember the night when you and I laid in bed talking about people in our life, and you asked me "out of such and such couple which one do you think would be capable of cheating on there spouse." Well if you had asked me about between you and I, I would have said "neither one of us would ever do such a thing." Yeah I felt jealous of you talking to girls sometimes but I would never think you would ever cheat one me, and I am sure you thought the same about me.

I am so regretful of so many things that I did wrong. I am so sorry. Can I please have your forgiveness?



In the beginning when all this started you were close to forgiving me, please find it in your heart to show me mercy and forgive me. I have changed so much in the last 9 months.

Remember when I use to say "I can't wait to turn 30 because then maybe I will feel grown up." Well I still like the thought of 30 for some reason, but not because I want to feel grown up, because my thinking has grown so much. Obviously I will continue learning and growing as I get older, but this has sent me into a major reality check.

I can tell you for a fact that this would never happen in my life ever again. It's the dumbest thing anyone could ever do, when they think they are not happy. Because the hurt of breaking your spouses heart and your own is so much more unhappy.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you a hundred times a day. My love for you has just gotten unbelievably stronger. I love you Oscar. And I am so sorry for hurting you. If I could write a poem like you did for me when I had Isabella then I would but I am not talented like you in that department, so all I can do is pour my heart out to you with apologies.

In my heart I will be your wife forever,
Natalie

Comments for Apology to my Husband

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Too Little Too Late
by: Anonymous

The comment title I used says it all. Your words fall on deaf ears. If he buys that load he's a FOOL pure and simple!

It doesn't matter to many of us "Betrayed Husbands"
by: Anonymous

Sorry, not sorry - who cares?

My wife cheated and has never shown me much remorse. She says she is sorry but I don't believe her. I think she's only sorry I ever found out and that I have not "gotten over it".

I have stayed with her because I am a coward. I thought I was being honorable staying to raise my family but it was just a cover-up for my fear of being alone; of starting my life over. I hate her for what she did and there is nothing that can repair the damage she has done.

Now that our kids are grown and we are getting into our "golden years" I am going to divorce her. I am not going to die feeling like half a man because I accepted a cheater back into my life.

Let Go
by: Anonymous

I have read many comments on this site and my heart goes out to both the innocent victims, and the guilty cheaters. Why would my heart go out to the guilty cheaters? Simple. They have have come to the realization of what they had, but it is too late to do anything about it.

My marriage of twenty years ended last year when my wife decided that she simply didn't love me and moved in with another man. My son and daughter were both devastated, as was I. For the sake of brevity I will say to all who have hurt or been hurt to simply let it go. You can't change what you did. All of the apologies in the world will not erase the pain that you caused.

The person you hurt will eventually heal on their own over time; possibly a long time. When they are healed, they will never look at you the same. They will never trust you the same. They will never love or make love to you the same. The best thing to do is to ask for forgiveness, forgive yourself and move on.

For the victims I will say the same thing; move on. Don't waste another day mourning over the loss of someone who has shown you how they really feel about you. Will you ever trust them, love them, or respect them like you used to? No. The pain that they caused you will always be in the back of your mind. Forgiveness is great, but the residual damage is irreparable. Move on with your life and let go. The only person that you are hurting is yourself. The person that hurt you may or may not feel remorse, but what difference does it make? A thousand apologies from them will not erase the pain, only time will.

I may be wrong about this, but I went through the same thing just last year, and that is what I did.

In response-A different view
by: Anonymous

To all you judgmental rigid in your thinking folks here, then let me say this! Of course cheating causes upheaval and sorrow and breaks up families but in spite of this the fact remains that as imperfect human beings, it is in our nature to err and no one person can ever be solely responsible for the happiness of another regardless of any vows or promises made at the alter as it were. Before you all cry your protests just look at the statistical facts my self righteous friends and see for yourselves how the facts make a mockery of all of your indignations.

I myself have been married for 22years and have not strayed even with good opportunity but that's not to say that I haven't been tempted. Bottom line here is that sometimes a marriage isn't meant to last and cheating becomes the catalyst in the breakup.

To the person posting the question I say. Forgive yourself my friend and restore your worth. You feel you made a mistake? Hope your husband can forgive you and accept it, if he can't do forgive yourself. Know that you are worthy of love and as a human being no more or less flawed than the judgmental folks on this forum.

No
by: cozza

You did this to your husband. What did he do to you? You should be ashamed of yourself. If I was him I would file for divorce and child custody. Just to watch you suffer like he did. Karma is so harsh. Isn't it?

My hurt and pain became my blessing
by: Annoyance

My husband was having a long affair with his employee that his mother, brothers, and children were willing to assist him with by covering for him. Employees would catch them on top of his desk in his office at Publix grocery store.

He told so many lies, but I hired an attorney and a private investigator and the judge awarded me the divorce based on abandonment and adultery.

I am very happy now, because I am no longer married to a con man nor have to deal with a narcissist. He has married her, but every time he sees my family he wants to talk, tell them how my family treated him so good, he wants my family to hug him, and he just repeats over and over that he doesn't want there to be any hard feelings.

I am so over him and I hope he is enjoying his freedom, because that is why he wanted a divorce from me. Family and friends have mention how bad he looks and appears not to have had any rest for a long time. I went to counseling and now I am growing in God, traveling, and enjoying peace in my home.

His new wife has four almost grown children that love to fight, his wife drinks, smokes, gambles and fights; and he has told me these are the qualities he hates for a woman to have. What a double minded man. He told the judge in court that he never loved me and the only reason he married me was that he was in a lot of debt with the IRS. And he left me when the debt was paid off.

We were married for 10 years, but he and this woman were friends for 15 yrs. He was married about 25 years to his first wife. He was cheating on her with this woman as well. My advice to everyone is to find a good counselor to help you figure out things.

If you want your spouse or partner to forgive continue to show them the love you have for them and be gentle and patient.

Smile and pray

Heart broken
by: Lyndsey

I'm in the same situation right now.

I've been with my husband for 19 years and we have two children under 8.It's been 3 months now since my husband found out what I did. I'm living at home and we are having couples therapy. I am having individual therapy as well.

I had a short term affair with a work colleague which I deeply regret now. At the time things were not good at home. My husband was going through a breakdown and I have been going through a midlife crisis. These things have only come to light since I was found out. We have done a great deal of soul searching and talking since, to work out where it went wrong.

Our relationship was so tight and intense previous to us having children it seems the void started to appear when they came along without us even noticing.

There's not a minute that goes by that I am not deeply sorry for what I have done to my best friend and children who are now being affected by my pure selfishness. I look into my husbands eyes and the pain he is going through is horrendous. Because of me.

I know that he still loves me but that unconditional love, the innocent love that we always had has gone and can never be replaced. The guilt and shame I feel at destroying the best thing in my life I cannot comprehend. I know that if we cannot make it I will never be truly happy again. He is my one true love and I am his.

I am disgusted that I went outside of my marriage rather than deal with the problems in front of me.

Anyway the letter you have written is from the heart. I have written my husband many letters lately it's the only way to let him hear my thoughts without an argument taking over.

Good luck. Be positive. I'm trying to be - though it's heart braking dealing with the cards I chose to deal.

You can rebuild
by: Anonymous

Our marriage is stronger than the first five years, now 17 years later, 5 kids, we are better than we started. No secrets, full trust, both stronger, loving and completely one.

Imagine if no one ever forgave anyone. Ugh. Keep strong!

It's never the same...
by: Anonymous

Hello. My wife of then 15 years cheated on me for over a month. The last time they were together was 2 days before our 15th wedding anniversary. I found out the day before our anniversary.

We have 5 children and my 3rd oldest saw them hugging goodbye from work one night. I had that gut feeling that she was having an affair. The day I found out I asked my daughter if she had ever seen her mother talking to a man at work when my daughter was there. Thats' when she told me she saw them hug. When I asked my wife she lied and that's when I knew.

She finally came clean and told me about the affair. She quit her job and cried for months. I know she is truly sorry for cheating and I have forgiven her. It's been almost 3 years and we are still together but I have never felt or looked at her the same way again. I mean how can you?

I don't bring it up anymore and treat her well. I love her but like I said don't look at her as that same innocent soulmate of mine. Bottom line is you guys can make it but it will never ever be the way it was. It's like the purity and innocence of your marriage is gone forever.

Trying to see where you're coming from but I can't...
by: Common Sense

My husband and I have been married for 7 years, no kids. 11 days ago I found out that he kissed a co-worker, whom he claimed to despise. He initiated the kiss. The co-worker is pregnant (not his kid) and has a 2 year old. She's trash, really she is. She's looking for "the fantasy" I suppose. AKA, A man who will take care of her and her children.

My husband and I were trying to have kids. We'd only been trying for 3 months when I found out about his infidelity. I understand it's not sex, but it's still a big betrayal.

I think it would've been better had he told me about it, instead of me finding out through his cell phone. He claims he was going to end all communication with her and had planned on telling me, but I'll never know the truth. They work together and if I spoke my piece to the shank, they would both lose their jobs as the company has a no-fraternizing policy. So not only do I have to deal with the betrayal, but I have to spend 40 hours a week wondering what he's doing at work with her.

My self-confidence and self-worth are being tested. I'm confused about who he really is and if he has done something like this in the past but I never found out? A lot of questions fill your mind, almost to the point of consuming your every thought. You no longer look at your spouse as your partner, but the enemy.

Back to how I found out: Via facebook. He'd made another page and they sent messages back and forth. The message I saw (which will haunt me forever) was something similar to this:

HER: I can't wait to sleep next to you.
HIM: Me too.

I didn't check to see how long they'd been sending messages etc, as I feel it would've damaged me more. He claimed it had only gone on for a week, but I don't buy it. Not with how the conversation was going. Several other people I know were on his friend's list, so they knew what was going on too. All women. And none of them told me about this. So I feel like the worlds biggest fool.

Now I might be pregnant (I'm 11 days late) and just thinking that I could've been pregnant while he was off with this whore...It's screwed me up mentally.

So no, you don't deserve forgiveness. You deserve a swift kick in the ass. You're a fool who looked for the "quick fix" instead of facing the problems right in front of you. If he's a smart man, and I'm gathering he is because he hasn't jumped back into a relationship with you, then he would run for the hills and never look back.

I told my husband I had forgiven him, but only so I could get my affairs in order. (Money etc...) Once I have, his world will be ripped out from under him. He won't have a job and neither will she. Is it mean? Yea. But so is cheating. He didn't think of my feelings when doing the act, so why should I take pity on him?

Feeling lost
by: Anonymous

Hi, glad I found your post in google. Your message is very touching... there's no doubt about your sincerity for asking his forgiveness.

I'm also in this situation now,everything from us is fresh like an oven.. I cheated on my husband,it was all my fault. He is my first ever boyfriend, we've been together for 15 years and have 2 kids.

After I confessed everything to him I saw the pain, hurt in his eyes and it kills me. He said he forgive me but as days go by I can feel that he really changed a lot. He looked at me like a dirty and unworthy person. He said he loved me but every night he tortured me with blame and questions.

To be honest I'm confused.. I know that the pain I caused him will not easily fade but I know that I'm doing my best to prove to him that I regret what I did. I think respect is no longer in his vocabulary. He keeps on shouting at me and keeps on asking "why". I'm now hopeless, I don't want to leave him because he said that I can't leave him right now with the shame and pain I've caused to him.

Sometimes I think I should leave him for what he is doing but every time I see my children my heart cries, they suffered enough from us. We have both made BIG mistakes in our relationship. Yes, he cheated on me before several times but it's not an excuse for me to do it too. God knows I regret every day what I have done .. what should I do .. I'm afraid to lose my family again .

Well...
by: Anonymous

I've been in your husband's shoes. I forgave my wife once, but then it happened twice more. She said a lot of the same things you're saying here. Also blamed my inattention to her. I'm sorry, but you don't punish someone who is busy providing for a family by cheating on them with someone who will say anything you want to hear. I love her and forgive her.

I feel bad, but I don't want to be with my wife anymore. She's saying and doing most of the right things, but I shouldn't have to put up with this kind of behavior. I deserve better. Don't be surprised if your husband feels the same way. He's going to need a lot of space. Do not smother him.

Thinking of cheating?
by: james b

My wife slept with a man who she knew little about -- turned out he was a felon drug dealer. 21 years and 5 kids together all I can do to deal with my pain is to think about opting out of life it self. Then I realized I have 4 kids left to raise and push through my misery, I know I am only a fraction of a father to them because I deal with the pain daily. Please say a prayer for them and myself for I know I can't do this forever, I know when they are all out of the house I won't go on with this pain. I hope people that cheat realize how much this hurts the person and kids who love you, if only one person stops to think about what this will cause from my statement I can find some peace that there is still hope for humanity.

Trust is near impossible to restore after such heart break.
by: Anonymous

Once I began reading the tears would not stop. For I have also cheated on my husband. I was with my husband for 20yrs, we have two children.

I was one of those people that would say "I would never cheat on my husband because that means you cheat your children as well."

After having my second child there was little intimacy. I suspected my husband was cheating, he denied it but his close friend mistakenly let it slip when drinking. My husband still denied. I didn't leave. I had a 4yr old & newborn.

I refused to allow anyone to take my family away. As the years went on I got lonely. I tried talking to my husband night after night. It only annoyed him. So I cried myself to sleep a lot. No one at this point knew we were even having problems. Looking in, we appeared to be the perfect family.

I asked my husband to go to counseling, he refused. Said that he was happy and didn't need it. So I began confiding in my best friend that was a man. Once I began having feelings, I told my husband. That was it, I was a cheat. He couldn't control his anger even in front of my boys. I left him. He moved on one month after I left as did I partially. We have been separated for 4 1/2yrs.

We made several attempts to get back together. He would lead me to the alter if you will,then abandon me every time. This last time I had done everything to prove my love. Everything was in place and we were making plans for our future.

He began showing signs of cheating. He denied. Come to find out that the man I thought was extremely honorable and would NEVER cheat. I pleaded with him not to do what I did. Our boys have suffered enough,not to mention the guilt and shame that haunts you is unbelievable. We waited over 4yrs to be together. I thought I had enough time to make up for my mistake but I didn't. He gave up after 5 months and left me for another woman. I can't help to feel as if I failed again. I have ruined all of our lives by being selfish. My boys aren't happy, they're angry and feel they are being punished for our mistakes.

I live with the shame with every breath. Bottom line is cheating only causes heartache!

Trust is nearly impossible to restore after such heart break.
by: Anonymous

Once I began reading this thread the tears would not stop. For I have also cheated on my husband. I was with my husband for 20yrs, we have two children. I was one of those people that would say "I would never cheat on my husband because that means you cheat on your children as well."

After having my second child there was little intimacy. I suspected my husband was cheating, he denied it but his close friend mistakenly let it slip when drinking. My husband still denied. I didn't leave. I had a 4yr old & newborn.

I refused to allow anyone to take my family away. As the years went on I got lonely. I tried talking to my husband night after night. It only annoyed him. So I cried myself to sleep a lot. No one at this point knew we were even having problems.

Looking in, we appeared to be the perfect family. I asked my husband to go to counseling, he refused. Said that he was happy and didn't need it. So I began confiding in my best friend that was a man. Once I began having feelings, I told my husband. That was it, I was a cheat.

He couldn't control his anger even in front of my boys. I left him. He moved on one month after I left as did I partially. We have been separated for 4 1/2yrs. We made several attempts to get back together. He would lead me to the alter if you will, then abandon me every time. This last time I had done everything to prove my love. Everything was in place and we were making plans for our future.

He began showing signs of cheating. He denied it. I came to find out that the man I thought was extremely honorable and would NEVER cheat. I pleaded with him not to do what I did. Our boys have suffered enough, not to mention the guilt and shame that haunts you is unbelievable. We waited over 4yrs to be together. I thought I had a life time to make up for my mistake but I didn't. He gave up after 5 months and left me for another woman. I cant help to feel as if I failed again.

I have ruined all of our lives by being selfish. My boys aren't happy, they're angry and feel they are being punished for our mistakes. I live with the shame with every breath. Bottom line is cheating only causes heartache!

Too Late
by: Anonymous

There is no excuse for what you have done. It is unforgivable. You show no respect for you, your husband, or your family. Once a cheater, always a cheater. You deserve nothing from your husband other than a divorce. Cheating is a sign of weakness. You are weak.

What hurt's the most
by: I've been There

I did a silly thing by cheating on my Husband...... We have been married for 4yrs and we have a 3 year old beautiful girl and I decided he was not paying me enough attention and decided to look outside... instead of trying to talk it out with him.

Well he eventually found out about it and approached me and I denied it until he showed me the evidence. I have apologized and he decided to forgive me because of our daughter .......... but every time I look into his eyes I can see the hurt I've caused and it kills me to know that I was sooooooooo stupid. I kind of know that he has forgiven me but what hurts the most is that I'm his constant reminder of tainted LOVE in this world ............ I'm SO SORRY.........

dishonorable
by: Anonymous

you don't deserve forgiveness especially when you say you cant be sure it will never happen again. your hubby deserves much better.

It's a start
by: Keith

Natalie,

My wife left me in December of 2012, moved in with another man in February of 2013 (preplanned), lied to my two kids by telling them that I was only paying $500.00 per month when I was actually sending $1000.00 for child support; of course so that she could spend the other $500.00 on her lover, told every lie imaginable on me, and never, and I do mean never, not once apologized for anything.

This is not even close to everything that she did, but I won't go into all of it. It is so sick and repugnant that it defies the imagination. By the way, I am not making this up. This is not something I read in some book, nor a made up story; this happened to me and if it had not happened to me, I probably would have trouble believing it because I have never met, nor heard of anyone being this messed up in the head.

Anyway, I got custody of my kids and God gave me total victory in the divorce. The fact that you can admit your mistake is a huge step in the right direction. Even if you do not reconcile with your ex, at least your ex can respect you again.

He is hurting inside; believe me he really is, but your apology will help him heal and you too. I never got an apology, but God healed my heart any way. I can tell you that it is very likely that he will never, ever, trust you again; but never is a long time.

My advice, being a man that has been on the receiving end of what you've done, don't expect him to welcome you back right away; if at all. Start off by seeking God's forgiveness first, then apologize to your husband, and finally, forgive yourself. Once you have done this, leave it in Gods hands. You tried to do things your way and see the results; you broke up your family. Now let God fix it

Re: Just Leave...... By EW
by: JC

When I read your response it felt like you were in my head. I feel exactly as you (empty/hollow). It's been 11 yrs since my wife cheated on me and I stayed. I thought I forgave her but the feeling of anger and hurt are still there. I should have left but I stayed for my daughter and I thought I still wanted to be with her and most days I do. But I find myself feeling ashamed of myself because I didn't leave after being so disrespected. I won't say I'm glad that there are others who went through the same thing and feel the same way as I do, but it's a little comforting to know I'm not the only one who's been through this and feels this way.

Been there
by: Anonymous

I have been where you are. No one understands. Everyone thinks you did it out of selfishness, but if you were like me you TRIED EVERYTHING to make your partner happy. It wasn't working so you found an alternative route. I understand. I am no longer with my ex but it is because I wasn't happy running my life into the ground trying to make him happy and getting nowhere. Know who you are and stand strong in what you want/need no matter how long it takes you.

Don't listen to the haters
by: Anonymous

Firstly I don't know how long ago you posted this letter but I came across it doing a little soul searching myself online and felt I needed to comment on this.

A lot of the other people commenting on this are so narrow minded to think that because you cheated you are not worthy of forgiveness. I had been with my boyfriend for 6 years and best friend since we were 3 years old. About 2 years into our relationship he started behaving in a way that wasn't great (don't want to post why as it's private) but believe me I went through the worst times of my life and still stuck by him through things a 22 yr old should not have to go through.

But one day his best friend asked me to go for a drink as he could see I needed someone to talk to and one thing led to another and before I knew it it was a year later and I had been involved in what could only be described as a full blown affair behind my partners back.

And then to my delight but also horror my boyfriend started to turn his life around and be the man I'd always hoped he would be. I ended the affair and luckily the best friend moved to the other side of the world so it was so selfish but I sort of brushed it under the carpet and just enjoyed being finally happy with my boyfriend.

However 6 months ago through my own stupid mistake my boyfriend found out what had happened and immediately broke up with me and told me there was no hope in getting back together. I wake up every day hating myself just that little bit more and although I would never contemplate taking my own life most days when I wake up I'm disappointed that I have.

He has since shown signs of still wanting to be with me still meets up with me occasionally but seems to back track anytime we get to close and be angry again. Like you know I will never give up on this man cos he is the love of my life and I would rather be alone then with anyone else but him.

My point of my message is to say you're not alone with what you did and the people saying you don't deserve forgiveness have obviously never had to deal with how bad people like you and me feel everyday. I really hope you get your husband back just as I hope I get my partner back and wish people would think about an individual's situation before judging them ! Good luck x

Just Leave...
by: EW

The pain NEVER goes away... My wife cheated on me while l was deployed to Iraq.

I stayed for my children. BIG MISTAKE. If I could give any advice I'd say get out now. I think about what she did EVERY DAY. It affects me fully and changed my life forever. I don't even remember who I was before. It's been 10 yrs. It consumes me. Not fair to my wife because I just keep torturing her for it and she probably doesn't even know why because I told her I forgave her...I love her, but l didn't. And she deserves better. Even though she hurt me profoundly.

I should have grown some balls and left.
Sincerely,
Hollow man

How could you
by: Anonymous

How could anyone cheat on a person whom you love so much? How can you live after losing your lover's trust? I would rather die before I lose all that. Apart from the overwhelming love of ours we have a deep responsibility and respect towards each other. I don't understand why people disrespect their partner so selfishly.

I hurt my husband
by: Anonymous

I read this after I hurt my husband, we live apart he's in school somewhere miles away, he found some flirt messages on my phone and I've never been in any r/ship with the guy in question.

It was just one of those stupid things I regret doing, I had a very good r/ship with hubby and this foolish mistake has cost me my marriage.

I love my husband so much, I have apologized all I could and still doing it. He said he had forgiven me but the day he was leaving just at the airport I could see rage in his eyes. When he reached there he said he's divorcing me, he can't go on.

Even Now
by: Anonymous

To those who are thinking of cheating and think your husband or wife will forgive you and get back to the way it was, it never does -- my first wife cheated on me and even today after being married to my second wife for 30 yrs I still get that sharp knife in the gut feeling when I hear of a wife that says she cheated on the love of her life. It hurts forever...

Cheating on my husband
by: Anonymous

I cheated on my husband so bad and I feel breaking up would be a better solution because he is so hurt and my heart is wounded so badly...

He did cheat on me before but it's not an excuse for me to do it to him. I feel so wounded, dirty and I honestly regret it... I feel divorce would be better for us in the long run.

Thank you
by: mercy

I can't thank you enough for all that you have done for me. About a year ago I and my partner split up, we had both made BIG mistakes in our relationship. He ended up moving away from me to pursue a new life. I knew in my heart that he would be the only one to make me happy. I was relieved when I found your email on this site. Our wedding date is set for Summer 2013.

Sincere and Honest
by: Anonymous

Your letter was sincere and honest. I really hope he forgives you.

My husband cheated on me before and it still haunts me to this day. Sure I had forgiven him but I'll tell you it's hard getting back your marriage once it's screwed up.

We've been working on it for 2 yrs and it's still hard to trust him. Sometimes I find it a punishment to myself for staying with him. I still feel sometimes distance and lonely and I constantly fear the worse that one day he will find some else and all those efforts that we tried went to waste. Leaving me with a broken heart in an empty world of promise.

Lets hope he forgives and gets over it.

lost touch..irresistable pain that i ignored for 5years
by: Yousra

woooow I read the letter and the comments ..I got nothing to say except I'm crying so bad that I heard all of the stories...because I got to a point in my life where I MADE myself believe that love doesn't exist anymore..AND THANK YOU ALL FOR PROVING ME WRONG.

Most of you would guess by now that I did have a bad love experience....well, 4 yrs haven't seen him AND STILL LOVE HIM but I'm CONSTANTLY telling myself that I forgot him and that it's not love... but I liked soooo many guys after him , somehow I just never seemed to love someone as I love(d) him or to feel the same heat and pressure and pain and desire and LOVE... that i have for him.

I left the country to continue my studies abroad but we stayed in touch even stronger..till we had a huge fight and we were cut off...when I came back to my country I didn't have his number nor his address nor his last name...I looked , searched everywhere ..he was nowhere to be found...I never lost hope and now my hope grew bigger ...sometimes I feel lost and helpless with all the dead ends that I run into...

I'm sorry to bother you all with this but at least now I "admit" that it's love. THANK YOU byebye with all my best wishes for all the real lovers out in the world.

Husband Dirty Talking other Woman
by: Geez

Hi,

I was reading your mails on cheating spouses...
I'm just fresh from the oven...yesterday i found out dat my husband been dirty talking to woman on the net...and watches sex video clips and god can't bear the pain when i read his tread of emails which was disgusting...

He sent me an apology note today morning but i had nothing to write...feel empty and i will nvr find a word to forgive him...

I got up today with a brand new mission and life that i want to have....and yes, i have started and will not let him break me again....

ouch. what to do!!
by: andrew

i have been married for 10 years. my wife told me after work that she is seeing someone. she will sleep with me tonight and tomorrow will spend with her new(not really) boyfriend.i told her to not stay, go to him now, i was shocked and heartbroken. we have a 7 and 3 year old. i have been taking care of them for 2.5 years while i work nights. i soon found out that she had unprotected sex in the bed my 3 yr old daughter slept, while she is there. am i crazy for wanting her back?

Thank you!
by: Heartbroken

To the writer of the apology letter...

Although me and my boyfriend are not married, I still think I know EXACTLY how you felt, just from reading your letter.

At the moment, it is too painful to explain exactly what happened in my situation, but it is so comforting to see that someone else understands that sometimes the pain of breaking your loved one's heart is much worse than the pain of actually having your heart broken and being cheated on.

When I cheated, (and it was only a drunken kiss), it broke my heart to see the pain I'd caused the man I love.

I have written two letters to him myself, but still no word after 2 weeks. It feels like a death of a best friend and the pain of the guilt is so unbearable.

So thank you for showing me your own story and it gives me hope that one day my boyfriend will forgive me too for what I am so desperately sorry for.

Thank you! And God bless you.

Sorry
by: Anonymous

I feel deeply sorry for your loss.

Sebastian

i will pray for you
by: erin

Hello, I am hoping the lady that posted the comment about her husband passing maybe reads this...I don't even know what this website is, I just came across it when I googled the words "waiting on an apology from my husband" I am not really super religious person but i am very spiritual person, I feel like maybe God led me to this. My husband is my love and my life and he and I were having hard times this past year because he is having a hard time since he came home from Iraq, he is in the Airforce. I googled that phrase because I feel I am waiting for him to just apologize for the hard times he has caused over the past year but I truly have forgiven him whether he does or not, my love is the same for him no matter what his actions are. When you truly love someone that love is in YOUR heart for them, it does not always have to be in THEIR heart. My husband is my love, my life, my best friend, and my soul mate and what he is going through mentally is not about me so I am just trying to be there and love "HIM." I was so touched by what you wrote because that is how I feel. My husband has been deployed to the Middle East 3 times since we have been married and I swore to him and to God that my heart belongs to them forever. If God were to take my husband to be with HIM before he took me, I would wait forever to be with my husband again. It is so sad how people think these days. I will never take my husband or my marriage or even this life for granted. To the lady who wrote that message, you will be in my prayers and I admire you and I imagine your husband was almost as amazing as my husband, he he. I am so glad that you and he were able to mend your hearts before he went to heaven and enjoy the time you had here together...God bless...
Love Erin

I am the one that wrote this letter
by: Anonymous

I wrote the letter below, and my husband did forgive me. So to the person that just wrote that last comment I hope you read my reply. He obviously had much more of a heart than you. My husband died 5 months ago, and he died loving me and had forgiven me. And my heart is still with him and I will be waiting for him and not getting remarried, that is how much I love him.

wow
by: Anonymous

If someone were to forgive you guys they are stupid. If you can't be loyal with your partner when you should be especially when you are married and have kids, what will make your partner want you back? Anyone can get on here and say sweet things but if you really love them as much as you say you do, why do it in the first place?

Thank you
by: Paul

I loved your letter to your husband.
my name is Paul i have been married to my wife for 9 months. I cheated on her when we were engaged but she only found out last week. It was a year ago for me that I did what i did, but for my wife it was a week ago that I cheated on her.

She is a very strong women, and has said that she loves me but does not want to be treated the way I have treated her, she also has said that she knows she can live without me no matter how much it hurts. Trouble is I cannot live without her and I love her so so much. Just like your letter says, my love has grown so much stronger for my wife in the last 10 months and I don't want her to leave but I don't know how to hold on to her.

Me too....
by: Anonymous

My situation isn't half as bad as yours. But I almost know how you feel. I'd been with my boyfriend for two years, and in a drunken moment I kissed my sort of ex (well, someone I used to like, and my boyfriend knows I liked him)... he thinks it was emotional...but it wasn't. He's taking time at the moment but I really don't think it looks hopeful. He's said he knows I'm sorry and knows I love him... but its killing me at the moment. I need him. He's the best thing that ever happened to me...I had written him a similar letter but he's still really really mad with me... I'm so scared of losing him for good and don't know what else I can do to make him begin to forgive me.

add a poem
by: Anonymous

This seems like a good apology. The only thing I would do differently is after you say you are not talented like him in writing poems say that you are going to try to make one anyway. Attach the poem to the bottom, no matter how corny you may think it is.

Whoah.
by: J.Mac

Wow, Natalie, just reading your apology makes me feel like a better person..you seem so great,and unbelievabely strong. Your husband will forgive you. I know I would if i heard something as beautiful as that.

Husband's (and childrens') Apology
by: Anonymous

I can only offer a little advice (kinda been there....)

Start the letter by explicitly acknowledging what it is you did, and that you understand how much it hurt your husband. You need to clearly admit this at the outset of your letter so there is no question whatsoever that you get it.

And you need to do this especially if it's awkward, painful and unpleasant for you. That's the point. Your feelings are besides the point in an apology letter.

You seem to be hinting at an explanation and perhaps justification) for what you did when you state "I was feeling hurt". When it comes to personal apologies like this one, for a mistake like this one, it's probably a good idea to avoid any attempt to explain why you did it, or attempt in any way to share any part of the blame because your were "hurt". It implies that "hurting" you somehow justifies how you ended up hurting your husband. leave it out!

You may also want to acknowledge other ripple effects of what you did by pointing to the effects on your children. It seems that your husband is not the only one who deserves an apology, and your husband and children should understand that you get that as well.

Aside from this, the letter reads like it's straight from the heart, and that's important. Good Luck, Hope it works out.

Someone who has been there and is hopefully wiser for it....

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