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Apology to my Husband

by Natalie
(Georgia)

I regretfully, cheated on my husband and I feel so incredibly bad about it. I want to put our family (we have two little ones) back together. I have written this letter to him. Please let me know what you all think. Do you think it will work?

Here it is:

Both of us know what I did, so I would rather not have to say what I am apologizing for. I am embarrassed and ashamed to say it, however if it helps you heal for me to actually say the words of what I did and then apologize I will do it for you.

What I did to you and our family was beyond heartbreaking. I have hurt all of us. I take full responsibility for hurting our family and breaking us up.

I was feeling hurt in our marriage and I was stupid and weak. I never thought that me of all people could do what I did.

Remember the night when you and I laid in bed talking about people in our life, and you asked me "out of such and such couple which one do you think would be capable of cheating on there spouse." Well if you had asked me about between you and I, I would have said "neither one of us would ever do such a thing." Yeah I felt jealous of you talking to girls sometimes but I would never think you would ever cheat one me, and I am sure you thought the same about me.

I am so regretful of so many things that I did wrong. I am so sorry. Can I please have your forgiveness?



In the beginning when all this started you were close to forgiving me, please find it in your heart to show me mercy and forgive me. I have changed so much in the last 9 months.

Remember when I use to say "I can't wait to turn 30 because then maybe I will feel grown up." Well I still like the thought of 30 for some reason, but not because I want to feel grown up, because my thinking has grown so much. Obviously I will continue learning and growing as I get older, but this has sent me into a major reality check.

I can tell you for a fact that this would never happen in my life ever again. It's the dumbest thing anyone could ever do, when they think they are not happy. Because the hurt of breaking your spouses heart and your own is so much more unhappy.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you a hundred times a day. My love for you has just gotten unbelievably stronger. I love you Oscar. And I am so sorry for hurting you. If I could write a poem like you did for me when I had Isabella then I would but I am not talented like you in that department, so all I can do is pour my heart out to you with apologies.

In my heart I will be your wife forever,
Natalie

Comments for Apology to my Husband

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What hurt's the most
by: I've been There

I did a silly thing by cheating on my Husband...... We have been married for 4yrs and we have a 3 year old beautiful girl and I decided he was not paying me enough attention and decided to look outside... instead of trying to talk it out with him.

Well he eventually found out about it and approached me and I denied it until he showed me the evidence. I have apologized and he decided to forgive me because of our daughter .......... but every time I look into his eyes I can see the hurt I've caused and it kills me to know that I was sooooooooo stupid. I kind of know that he has forgiven me but what hurts the most is that I'm his constant reminder of tainted LOVE in this world ............ I'm SO SORRY.........

dishonorable
by: Anonymous

you don't deserve forgiveness especially when you say you cant be sure it will never happen again. your hubby deserves much better.

It's a start
by: Keith

Natalie,

My wife left me in December of 2012, moved in with another man in February of 2013 (preplanned), lied to my two kids by telling them that I was only paying $500.00 per month when I was actually sending $1000.00 for child support; of course so that she could spend the other $500.00 on her lover, told every lie imaginable on me, and never, and I do mean never, not once apologized for anything.

This is not even close to everything that she did, but I won't go into all of it. It is so sick and repugnant that it defies the imagination. By the way, I am not making this up. This is not something I read in some book, nor a made up story; this happened to me and if it had not happened to me, I probably would have trouble believing it because I have never met, nor heard of anyone being this messed up in the head.

Anyway, I got custody of my kids and God gave me total victory in the divorce. The fact that you can admit your mistake is a huge step in the right direction. Even if you do not reconcile with your ex, at least your ex can respect you again.

He is hurting inside; believe me he really is, but your apology will help him heal and you too. I never got an apology, but God healed my heart any way. I can tell you that it is very likely that he will never, ever, trust you again; but never is a long time.

My advice, being a man that has been on the receiving end of what you've done, don't expect him to welcome you back right away; if at all. Start off by seeking God's forgiveness first, then apologize to your husband, and finally, forgive yourself. Once you have done this, leave it in Gods hands. You tried to do things your way and see the results; you broke up your family. Now let God fix it

Re: Just Leave...... By EW
by: JC

When I read your response it felt like you were in my head. I feel exactly as you (empty/hollow). It's been 11 yrs since my wife cheated on me and I stayed. I thought I forgave her but the feeling of anger and hurt are still there. I should have left but I stayed for my daughter and I thought I still wanted to be with her and most days I do. But I find myself feeling ashamed of myself because I didn't leave after being so disrespected. I won't say I'm glad that there are others who went through the same thing and feel the same way as I do, but it's a little comforting to know I'm not the only one who's been through this and feels this way.

Been there
by: Anonymous

I have been where you are. No one understands. Everyone thinks you did it out of selfishness, but if you were like me you TRIED EVERYTHING to make your partner happy. It wasn't working so you found an alternative route. I understand. I am no longer with my ex but it is because I wasn't happy running my life into the ground trying to make him happy and getting nowhere. Know who you are and stand strong in what you want/need no matter how long it takes you.

Don't listen to the haters
by: Anonymous

Firstly I don't know how long ago you posted this letter but I came across it doing a little soul searching myself online and felt I needed to comment on this.

A lot of the other people commenting on this are so narrow minded to think that because you cheated you are not worthy of forgiveness. I had been with my boyfriend for 6 years and best friend since we were 3 years old. About 2 years into our relationship he started behaving in a way that wasn't great (don't want to post why as it's private) but believe me I went through the worst times of my life and still stuck by him through things a 22 yr old should not have to go through.

But one day his best friend asked me to go for a drink as he could see I needed someone to talk to and one thing led to another and before I knew it it was a year later and I had been involved in what could only be described as a full blown affair behind my partners back.

And then to my delight but also horror my boyfriend started to turn his life around and be the man I'd always hoped he would be. I ended the affair and luckily the best friend moved to the other side of the world so it was so selfish but I sort of brushed it under the carpet and just enjoyed being finally happy with my boyfriend.

However 6 months ago through my own stupid mistake my boyfriend found out what had happened and immediately broke up with me and told me there was no hope in getting back together. I wake up every day hating myself just that little bit more and although I would never contemplate taking my own life most days when I wake up I'm disappointed that I have.

He has since shown signs of still wanting to be with me still meets up with me occasionally but seems to back track anytime we get to close and be angry again. Like you know I will never give up on this man cos he is the love of my life and I would rather be alone then with anyone else but him.

My point of my message is to say you're not alone with what you did and the people saying you don't deserve forgiveness have obviously never had to deal with how bad people like you and me feel everyday. I really hope you get your husband back just as I hope I get my partner back and wish people would think about an individual's situation before judging them ! Good luck x

Just Leave...
by: EW

The pain NEVER goes away... My wife cheated on me while l was deployed to Iraq.

I stayed for my children. BIG MISTAKE. If I could give any advice I'd say get out now. I think about what she did EVERY DAY. It affects me fully and changed my life forever. I don't even remember who I was before. It's been 10 yrs. It consumes me. Not fair to my wife because I just keep torturing her for it and she probably doesn't even know why because I told her I forgave her...I love her, but l didn't. And she deserves better. Even though she hurt me profoundly.

I should have grown some balls and left.
Sincerely,
Hollow man

How could you
by: Anonymous

How could anyone cheat on a person whom you love so much? How can you live after losing your lover's trust? I would rather die before I lose all that. Apart from the overwhelming love of ours we have a deep responsibility and respect towards each other. I don't understand why people disrespect their partner so selfishly.

I hurt my husband
by: Anonymous

I read this after I hurt my husband, we live apart he's in school somewhere miles away, he found some flirt messages on my phone and I've never been in any r/ship with the guy in question.

It was just one of those stupid things I regret doing, I had a very good r/ship with hubby and this foolish mistake has cost me my marriage.

I love my husband so much, I have apologized all I could and still doing it. He said he had forgiven me but the day he was leaving just at the airport I could see rage in his eyes. When he reached there he said he's divorcing me, he can't go on.

Even Now
by: Anonymous

To those who are thinking of cheating and think your husband or wife will forgive you and get back to the way it was, it never does -- my first wife cheated on me and even today after being married to my second wife for 30 yrs I still get that sharp knife in the gut feeling when I hear of a wife that says she cheated on the love of her life. It hurts forever...

Cheating on my husband
by: Anonymous

I cheated on my husband so bad and I feel breaking up would be a better solution because he is so hurt and my heart is wounded so badly...

He did cheat on me before but it's not an excuse for me to do it to him. I feel so wounded, dirty and I honestly regret it... I feel divorce would be better for us in the long run.

Thank you
by: mercy

I can't thank you enough for all that you have done for me. About a year ago I and my partner split up, we had both made BIG mistakes in our relationship. He ended up moving away from me to pursue a new life. I knew in my heart that he would be the only one to make me happy. I was relieved when I found your email on this site. Our wedding date is set for Summer 2013.

Sincere and Honest
by: Anonymous

Your letter was sincere and honest. I really hope he forgives you.

My husband cheated on me before and it still haunts me to this day. Sure I had forgiven him but I'll tell you it's hard getting back your marriage once it's screwed up.

We've been working on it for 2 yrs and it's still hard to trust him. Sometimes I find it a punishment to myself for staying with him. I still feel sometimes distance and lonely and I constantly fear the worse that one day he will find some else and all those efforts that we tried went to waste. Leaving me with a broken heart in an empty world of promise.

Lets hope he forgives and gets over it.

lost touch..irresistable pain that i ignored for 5years
by: Yousra

woooow I read the letter and the comments ..I got nothing to say except I'm crying so bad that I heard all of the stories...because I got to a point in my life where I MADE myself believe that love doesn't exist anymore..AND THANK YOU ALL FOR PROVING ME WRONG.

Most of you would guess by now that I did have a bad love experience....well, 4 yrs haven't seen him AND STILL LOVE HIM but I'm CONSTANTLY telling myself that I forgot him and that it's not love... but I liked soooo many guys after him , somehow I just never seemed to love someone as I love(d) him or to feel the same heat and pressure and pain and desire and LOVE... that i have for him.

I left the country to continue my studies abroad but we stayed in touch even stronger..till we had a huge fight and we were cut off...when I came back to my country I didn't have his number nor his address nor his last name...I looked , searched everywhere ..he was nowhere to be found...I never lost hope and now my hope grew bigger ...sometimes I feel lost and helpless with all the dead ends that I run into...

I'm sorry to bother you all with this but at least now I "admit" that it's love. THANK YOU byebye with all my best wishes for all the real lovers out in the world.

Husband Dirty Talking other Woman
by: Geez

Hi,

I was reading your mails on cheating spouses...
I'm just fresh from the oven...yesterday i found out dat my husband been dirty talking to woman on the net...and watches sex video clips and god can't bear the pain when i read his tread of emails which was disgusting...

He sent me an apology note today morning but i had nothing to write...feel empty and i will nvr find a word to forgive him...

I got up today with a brand new mission and life that i want to have....and yes, i have started and will not let him break me again....

ouch. what to do!!
by: andrew

i have been married for 10 years. my wife told me after work that she is seeing someone. she will sleep with me tonight and tomorrow will spend with her new(not really) boyfriend.i told her to not stay, go to him now, i was shocked and heartbroken. we have a 7 and 3 year old. i have been taking care of them for 2.5 years while i work nights. i soon found out that she had unprotected sex in the bed my 3 yr old daughter slept, while she is there. am i crazy for wanting her back?

Thank you!
by: Heartbroken

To the writer of the apology letter...

Although me and my boyfriend are not married, I still think I know EXACTLY how you felt, just from reading your letter.

At the moment, it is too painful to explain exactly what happened in my situation, but it is so comforting to see that someone else understands that sometimes the pain of breaking your loved one's heart is much worse than the pain of actually having your heart broken and being cheated on.

When I cheated, (and it was only a drunken kiss), it broke my heart to see the pain I'd caused the man I love.

I have written two letters to him myself, but still no word after 2 weeks. It feels like a death of a best friend and the pain of the guilt is so unbearable.

So thank you for showing me your own story and it gives me hope that one day my boyfriend will forgive me too for what I am so desperately sorry for.

Thank you! And God bless you.

Sorry
by: Anonymous

I feel deeply sorry for your loss.

Sebastian

i will pray for you
by: erin

Hello, I am hoping the lady that posted the comment about her husband passing maybe reads this...I don't even know what this website is, I just came across it when I googled the words "waiting on an apology from my husband" I am not really super religious person but i am very spiritual person, I feel like maybe God led me to this. My husband is my love and my life and he and I were having hard times this past year because he is having a hard time since he came home from Iraq, he is in the Airforce. I googled that phrase because I feel I am waiting for him to just apologize for the hard times he has caused over the past year but I truly have forgiven him whether he does or not, my love is the same for him no matter what his actions are. When you truly love someone that love is in YOUR heart for them, it does not always have to be in THEIR heart. My husband is my love, my life, my best friend, and my soul mate and what he is going through mentally is not about me so I am just trying to be there and love "HIM." I was so touched by what you wrote because that is how I feel. My husband has been deployed to the Middle East 3 times since we have been married and I swore to him and to God that my heart belongs to them forever. If God were to take my husband to be with HIM before he took me, I would wait forever to be with my husband again. It is so sad how people think these days. I will never take my husband or my marriage or even this life for granted. To the lady who wrote that message, you will be in my prayers and I admire you and I imagine your husband was almost as amazing as my husband, he he. I am so glad that you and he were able to mend your hearts before he went to heaven and enjoy the time you had here together...God bless...
Love Erin

I am the one that wrote this letter
by: Anonymous

I wrote the letter below, and my husband did forgive me. So to the person that just wrote that last comment I hope you read my reply. He obviously had much more of a heart than you. My husband died 5 months ago, and he died loving me and had forgiven me. And my heart is still with him and I will be waiting for him and not getting remarried, that is how much I love him.

wow
by: Anonymous

If someone were to forgive you guys they are stupid. If you can't be loyal with your partner when you should be especially when you are married and have kids, what will make your partner want you back? Anyone can get on here and say sweet things but if you really love them as much as you say you do, why do it in the first place?

Thank you
by: Paul

I loved your letter to your husband.
my name is Paul i have been married to my wife for 9 months. I cheated on her when we were engaged but she only found out last week. It was a year ago for me that I did what i did, but for my wife it was a week ago that I cheated on her.

She is a very strong women, and has said that she loves me but does not want to be treated the way I have treated her, she also has said that she knows she can live without me no matter how much it hurts. Trouble is I cannot live without her and I love her so so much. Just like your letter says, my love has grown so much stronger for my wife in the last 10 months and I don't want her to leave but I don't know how to hold on to her.

Me too....
by: Anonymous

My situation isn't half as bad as yours. But I almost know how you feel. I'd been with my boyfriend for two years, and in a drunken moment I kissed my sort of ex (well, someone I used to like, and my boyfriend knows I liked him)... he thinks it was emotional...but it wasn't. He's taking time at the moment but I really don't think it looks hopeful. He's said he knows I'm sorry and knows I love him... but its killing me at the moment. I need him. He's the best thing that ever happened to me...I had written him a similar letter but he's still really really mad with me... I'm so scared of losing him for good and don't know what else I can do to make him begin to forgive me.

add a poem
by: Anonymous

This seems like a good apology. The only thing I would do differently is after you say you are not talented like him in writing poems say that you are going to try to make one anyway. Attach the poem to the bottom, no matter how corny you may think it is.

Whoah.
by: J.Mac

Wow, Natalie, just reading your apology makes me feel like a better person..you seem so great,and unbelievabely strong. Your husband will forgive you. I know I would if i heard something as beautiful as that.

Husband's (and childrens') Apology
by: Anonymous

I can only offer a little advice (kinda been there....)

Start the letter by explicitly acknowledging what it is you did, and that you understand how much it hurt your husband. You need to clearly admit this at the outset of your letter so there is no question whatsoever that you get it.

And you need to do this especially if it's awkward, painful and unpleasant for you. That's the point. Your feelings are besides the point in an apology letter.

You seem to be hinting at an explanation and perhaps justification) for what you did when you state "I was feeling hurt". When it comes to personal apologies like this one, for a mistake like this one, it's probably a good idea to avoid any attempt to explain why you did it, or attempt in any way to share any part of the blame because your were "hurt". It implies that "hurting" you somehow justifies how you ended up hurting your husband. leave it out!

You may also want to acknowledge other ripple effects of what you did by pointing to the effects on your children. It seems that your husband is not the only one who deserves an apology, and your husband and children should understand that you get that as well.

Aside from this, the letter reads like it's straight from the heart, and that's important. Good Luck, Hope it works out.

Someone who has been there and is hopefully wiser for it....

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