I spent the last hour trying to find a way to show you I really care and that I'm truly sorry. I don't know if publicly announcing it will be enough, but at the moment, it's the best I have found. I can only say I love you and I'm sorry so many times before they stop meaning anything to you even when they're sincere.
I remember back in January anxiously waiting for you to walk into our English classroom. I wasn't sure that we could hold a steady conversation for as long as we needed to and started to regret telling you that I would sit by you. But then you walked in with the brightest smile I had ever seen on your face, and I instantly knew that everything would work out. However, I could have never guessed that we would end up being closer than I thought humanly possible. My wildest dreams couldn't even come up with the friendship we formed.
Our relationship has changed a lot over time. We're no longer so similar in personalities, nor do we have as many close moments. In some ways, we know each other backwards and forwards; in others, we quickly realize we have no idea what we're doing. And I'm sorry for that. I know too often I assume I know something about you just because I know exactly when you want a sip of my Dr. Pepper or how you'll react after running into our government teacher. I tend to forget you're constantly changing.
I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I do love you. No matter what I say or how I act, I love you. I'm sorry I get jealous and insecure sometimes, but losing you scares me more than anything else in the world. You're my best friend, Noah. Fifty years from now, I want us to be shaking our canes at one another from our adjacent yards as we argue who has the cuter spouse. I'm sorry I lose sight of the present sometimes as I strive for the future. Living in the here and now with you sounds like the perfect life.
So, baby, I have to ask..."Are we cool?" Forever, Always, Someday, Together, Your Maddie