Dear John, I know you will probably never see this, but if you were to one day see this I want you to know this, and I didn't have the courage to text it to you after everything that has happened with us.
I am sorry for the lies, and the secrets. I know what I said is what caused us to end, and I should have never said it, but I needed to know, but I should've just came out and said it instead of making a stupid lie.
I should have thought about it and never done it, and if I could go back to that exact moment I would, because that was the biggest mistake I have ever made. I know you might not believe me when I say it never happened, but I am trying so hard for you to trust the fact that it didn't. I am sorry for talking to those people, I am sorry for the dating websites, I am sorry for not showing my love like I should have.
Back then I believed it would never work because of my parents but that was stupid and naive of me. Now I see that if I would've tried and showed my love for you and how much I care about you then maybe things would have been different. You were the only thing in my life that I have ever gotten right and I never realized what I had until I lost it.
I thought I will be fine without him, I am strong enough, but I was wrong.
I am not strong enough and I am not fine without you. I am missing a part of me without you. So I just want to say sorry for the way I hurt you and lied to you about all those things.
The first day we met I fell for you at the pjs dance, just looking into your eyes and feeling your touch. The first time we kissed I almost passed out because of how strong the connection is between us.
So if you ever read this please realize I am sooo sorry for everything I have done and what I didn't do, and that I hope one day you can truly forgive me for what I have done, and maybe let me back in.
Please let me back in. I know we are meant to be together. I just need another chance to prove to you that I have changed and that it will never happen again. All I want from the world is to be with you and have you in my life. To wake to you in my arms every morning. I miss us.
I apologize, please take me back. <3 we can mend each other's hearts back together. <3 I love you John H. and always will no matter what happens, no matter how much you hurt me or push me away my love for you will never fade away. Nobody will ever compare to you.