Thinking About an Apology.
by Ed
(Methuen, MA USA)
I started a shop a few years ago in a city and building that I wasn`t really familiar with. I basically would keep to myself and never want to be a bother to anyone there--especially being new to the area.
I just wanted to restart my business and slowly get to know the area and the neighbors that I would be seeing in the near future. There were a couple of people down the hall that were from the area and they were also starting a business. I think they came in about the same time as I did.
Our relationship got off on the wrong foot and that was the last thing I wanted to happen. Anyway when I encountered the women in the hall without ever talking to her, I said hello to her and she gave me a glaring response by saying "yea, hi" and turned away. At that time I felt humiliated. Then I felt angry and didn't let it go. I never once thought about the fact that she might have been having a tough day or something might have been going on. Why would I care? I didn`t even know her except seeing her a couple of times before that.
I took it personal and as time went on we would sometimes encounter each other. One day while I was with somebody I literally snubbed her in front of the person I was with and really didn`t think much about it. I didn`t feel like I won or got something over on her, I basically embarrassed her because I felt injured. When we encountered each other again, we made eye contact and I realized that she flinched and she looked very nervous as she walked by. I never wanted to put any fear into her or make her unbearably nervous when she sees me.
It became very uncomfortable to face each other. There was always something I wanted to say because I know that she wasn`t that bad. She was just doing what she had to do. We never spoke to each other for the two years that I was in that building and I would go a different way into the building because I felt that if we encountered each other again that she would be fearful.
When I left that building to get a bigger shop, I always wanted to apologize someway because I know I`m not mean. I felt angry at the time and I knew I hurt her. Whatever way it would go, it would be a burden lifted to apologize because it would be genuine.
It would be appreciated if I can get advice on how to go about this or any opinions.
Wondering
