Dear Boots... I don't know where you are, or even what your real name is now. But I know that more than half a century ago I bullied you. As my life draws to a close I feel so bad about it all.
It honestly pains me as though it were yesterday.
I'm not going to go into what a sick puppy I was, or how jealous I was of you, because neither of those is an excuse for bullying.
You didn't deserve to be treated the way I treated you. You didn't deserve the words I used as weapons. You never deserved the negative comments and utterances I threw at you.
I see now that everything I did was just mean and hateful. How utterly horrible I must have made you feel.
I have only recently had my eyes opened to the fact that I was a bully and how damaging it can be.
I see now how I fit the classic profile of a bully.
My actions were intentional and I know that I was completely responsible for them. I continually demonstrated aggressive behavior towards you that was always and completely unprovoked.
You became my target. You became the person I terrorized. It began when we first met and continued through the duration of our relationship.
I thank god I was never physically abusive or bullied you in that way however that doesn't lessen the hurt I know I caused emotionally or spiritually.
In the end, hurting someone is hurting someone and bullying is bullying. And as a bully does, no matter what age they are, I did it to seek power and control over you.
I am older now and yes, wiser. But I want you to know that my bullying of you was not a child not knowing any better. Making you the target was intentional and born out of my hatred of myself at the time.
I sincerely regret all of my actions and I hope you will forgive me.
I hope and pray that you had a good life and that the rest of the world has been, and will always be, kinder to you than I ever was.
Across the miles and the years, I mean that with all my heart... J.
P.S. In the hopes of making things right in some way if you are a bully or know someone who is being bullied I implore you to visit https://www.stopbullying.gov/