From Evamarie: Over the last year or so, I have come to realize just how much I have hurt the people I love the most by shutting everyone out of my life.
I can't imagine how much it must have hurt everyone to feel like I didn't want anything to to with them. I was trying to protect myself from the pain and lies I had been subjected to since I was a child, and I blamed everyone I loved for conspiring to make my life unbearable. It never occurred to me to look at the situation from your point of view.
When I did, I realized that I have done many things in my life which I am not proud of, including taking those who love me for granted. I can't change the past, but I can apologize for my behavior towards my family and friends.
I am sorry I hurt you so much, and I am trying very hard to forgive everyone for the situations that have caused me so much pain. I forgive the family for hiring actors to date me to teach me a lesson about love, and to humiliate me for what they perceived was me being unfaithful to my ex.
I apologize to him for doing just that, and I forgive him for the times he left me for someone else. So much in life is more than what it seems, and I am so sorry for getting hurt and angry instead of trying to understand the role I played in causing each painful situation.
I know that I have really screwed up in a lot of ways, and I pray that someday, the people I love will be able to forgive me and understand that I never intentionally hurt them. I was scared, lonely, sad, and being selfish.
I am very, very, fortunate to have the family and friends that I do in this life. I pray fervently that we can all heal from this situation stronger and with more joy in our lives.
I love you all very much, and I miss the fun times we have had. I am still learning about myself, and I am so grateful to all of you who have helped teach me to become more humble, genuine, kind, patient and loving.
From Rose: To my best friend, I miss you.
I'm so sorry I've caused so much drama now as I always have and I'm sorry for always embarrassing you like I did now. I know your tired of me and done with me and your never going to reply to me and that hurts me enough because the more you ignore me the more I'm just gonna continue to just feel so bad everyday for what I did.
I know I deserve it but this is the worst punishment I could ever receive.
I feel so bad right now my body is just numb but not just that, my heart is numb and my body aches and I can't stop crying because I know I messed up and there's nothing I can do. And you want nothing to do with me and I never ever heard words like that from anyone towards, me especially you.
It makes me feel so useless. Like I'm not worth anything and I'm not. I am useless and I don't deserve anyone or anything.
I'm so so sorry Joshua for everything I did. Since I know you're not going to reply, I'll just leave you alone now and never talk to you ever again just like you want me to.
I'll always miss you since you were my best friend but I know I messed up and there's nothing you want to do with me now. I feel so useless now and I don't know anymore if I have a purpose in anything, because of how horrible I am and what I did. I'm so sorry for what I did and I'll never be in your life ever again like you want.