Perfect Apology Monogram

Cheated on Him While Pregnant

(San Diego)

I cheated on him by flirting with another man. He caught me because that guy was one of his friends and he let him borrow his phone to use and he was logged in to Facebook and saw the messages I sent him. He hit me twice before he stopped, he started yelling at me. I was scared, and I didn't know whether to tell him the truth or deny it... but I thought how can I deny something when he had all the evidence in his hands.

I told him the truth and he broke up with me. I couldn't cry I felt so guilty. But I wasn't hurting at that time until the next day when he decided to get all his clothes out and leave us... Well just me, and then he told his kids that he was going to come get them on the weekend...

I realized that I had lost the most important person in my life... He was the only one who was there with me through thick and thin... He was there when my parents resented me for being pregnant at a young age... and he was there every time something bad happened in my family and I was never there for him when his uncles died...I just didn't know what to say to him... I didn't even tell him that everything was okay... I never told him anything that comforted him.

I cheated on him while I was pregnant and he just doesn't want to rub my belly or talk to our son because he thinks someone else is the father but I know he is the one.

I told him if he wanted to make sure he could take a DNA test... and he said he was going to test all of our kids because he doesn't trust me. He says that what if these kids are not his and he's been doing someone elses job? That really hurt me so bad.

I thought of aborting this baby but I just couldn't because it isn't his fault. It was all my fault... he doesn't deserve this but I ruined our family and now I am paying for it.

Every time I see him, I feel like crying. Every time he goes to work or I don't know were he is, I feel like he's going to cheat on me and get me back for what I did to him. I feel so angry at myself and I don't know how to fix it.

He forgave me, we're together but I can't be happy knowing I hurt him badly... Every time we watch Jerry Springer or cheating shows and DNA test shows, I walk away and start crying because I feel like he just wants me to hurt because of what I've done to him... how can I fix it???

I've been praying but it hurts so bad....and he already told all our friends that I cheated on him and its sad because now I feel embarrassed and disappointed because I never thought it was going to get this far.

Dear Victor,

I am sorry I cheated on you. I know that you never expected this from me but I did it because everything in our relationship was going bad. You didn't have a job, you weren't helping me with our kids, and you couldn't even keep me happy.

All I felt was stress when I was around you and I just wanted to feel loved and I was pregnant, but we didn't even know after the incident that you caught me.

All I can say is I am sorry, and even though you did forgive me I am the one who still feels upset because you can't even touch my belly or talk to our new baby like you did with our other kids.

I am the one who is afraid that you might cheat on me to get me back, our relationship will never be the same...we have trust issues and it hurts me so bad because I was the one who ruined our happy family even though I wasn't happy.

Comments for Cheated on Him While Pregnant

Click here to add your own comments

by: Anonymous

The phrase of "he/she wasn’t paying enough attention is why I cheated on him/her.." has probably become the most common and selfish excuse used when the cheater has been caught cheating.

Instead of accepting the total responsibility, due to guilt the cheater shifts the blame to the innocent partner.

A loyal and trustworthy partner would try resolve the problem instead of letting it get out of hand, leading it to something that everyone will regret.

Divorce/Breakup would be the most logical solution if the problem cannot be solved as both partners will know where they stand.

I am not trying to be a judge but I have gone through something slightly similar and can imagine what your partner is going through.

My fiancé became pregnant to another man while she was visiting her close relatives overseas.

She used the ONS excuse and asked me to forgive her. Although I was hurt, I believed her and forgave her. I fully supported her but she decided to abort the baby (most likely out of her own guilt)

It wasn’t until a few years ago and well after our two sons were born, that I found that my wife actually spent a week-and-a-half with an ex boyfriend of hers, who happened to be overseas at the same time (who decided to go remain with his wife against my fiancé’s wishes!)

I was too naive in believing her then and would have left her if she was honest with me from the very start. Instead I am hurting of something that is very hard to put aside.

She has shown hardly any remorse and justifies it by saying it happened a long 20 years ago and that my "not working hard enough" at that time and "me not giving enough attention to her" were the reasons she did that with her ex.

However, she does admit that she never mentioned any of those problems to me, that I paid for her trip, I had full trust in her travelling by herself, that we were fully in love, we were very happy together, and were kissing and cuddling before she departed.

by: Anonymous

Sorry but I think your marriage is doomed. It takes more work than just love to hold a marriage together

It's your fault.
by: Real Anonymous

You should have kept your legs closed, it is your fault, nothing was forced. You did it on purpose and don't deserve sympathy, all it would have taken was a conversation with your partner.

Straight to the point
by: Andy

I agree with most of these comments... yeah it's your fault and you are trying to put some of the blame on him for not loving etc... I'm in a situation where me and my partner have just had a beautiful baby boy and I was out of work jumping from job to job stressed all the time and we argued like no tomorrow but I didn't flirt with other people and neither did she to my knowledge.

I trust her. You say you love this man but flirt with other people. I believe people do stupid things in bad situations, some worse than others but cheating is the one at the top of the list... something that shouldn't be done no matter what but, hey it happens because people who do it are weak and really don't know what love is.

I am a 23 year old lad who didn't choose to love or to even understand how to love but my beautiful partner showed me everyday, showed me what I would miss if I became weak but most of all she showed me how to be strong in weak situations.

What I am trying to say is you did something stupid that is going to play on your mind probs for the rest of your life but you have to think he's forgiving you. He took you back after everything that's happened... yeah it's gonna play on his mind too but shows he isn't ready to stop showing you love and how to be strong.

Hopefully in time you can both put it all behind you and get that trust back.

Good luck in the future

God bless

Who are you to judge?
by: Anonymous

Who are you hypocrites to judge like you have never done anything in your life to hurt someone. Perhaps not in the same way but only God can judge. Complete and utter disgrace from reading the comments like you are all on some high horse and perfect. Take a look at your own lives before you take time out of your lives to criticize another's.

by: Anonymous

I'm in the same boat. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and I got pregnant. After I was pregnant I thought my life was going to be perfect because I have the man I love, but I caught him talking to another girl who is prettier than me. So I did the same but this time I actually slept with another man. My boyfriend didn't sleep with anyone else. And since the day I got caught cheating, every day he reminds me about it. I feel like such a bad mother and a lover. Of course he told his family, but he forgave me.

Some bones cannot be mended like our relationship. Everyday I felt so guilty with him, so I had to leave him. I didn't want to be blamed everyday and be accused of cheating again.

I did what I had to do in order to be happy again. My now ex still visits our daughter and loves her truly but he can't stand to see me, so I'm avoided as much as possible.

I wish I didn't cheat and maybe things would have turned out better but you shouldn't feel ashamed for the rest of your life. You need to ask yourself "does he still make me happy?... Will things still be the same?"

Just know that everyone gets over things, it takes time but you will move on eventually. This whole experience has made me a different person and I now learned from my mistakes. You need to forgive yourself. You're not a bad person, you're an amazing woman and a mother.

blame your self
by: Anonymous

When he was not employed all you thought was about yourself not being loved whilst he was stressed thinking of were he was going to get money to take care of you. You were never there when your hubby needed you the most.

by: Anonymous

I hope you feel some guilt for the rest of your life. You don't feel sorry and ashamed. You're just sorry and ashamed you got caught.

Agree with first commenter.
by: Anonymous

Your apology is less of an apology when you try to justify the fact that you cheated, especially by blaming him!

He wasn't there for you, he didn't have a job.. etc. Well, it still doesn't give you permission to cheat does it? You should've talked it out with him.

Not his fault.
by: Anonymous

You are blaming him in your apology, try explaining how you feel i.e. I felt unloved, not "you didn't love me" make it less finger pointy.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Love & Marriage.

Stack of apology coupons