Everyone, I'm Sorry

by Someone
(World)

I'm terribly sorry to anyone and everyone I hurt. I'm a jerk to everyone I meet. I always find a way to get myself involved into drama and think I'm better than most people. I really hope to change.

Everyone may know me as the not so innocent girl but I just want my innocence back, I just want to be a little girl again.

I wish I never really grew up and watched things that would mess with my mind, talk to people who would screw with my mind and hurt me. I wish I never became who I am today.

I wish I could be reborn, I love God and I know he loves me too but I just don't think he would accept me. I'm too screwed up. I just wish none of this ever happened.

Why do I have to be so harsh on everyone I meet?

Why do I swear. Why am I a mean person? Why can't I be pure and a good person, why is it so hard for me to do something nice?

I love my friends but I get a bit jealous when something good happens to them. They are so smart, they always get awards and their parents appreciate them. I know my parents love and appreciate me but I just don't believe it.

I always think why is it always my friends and never me? Why can't I be happy for them, they deserve a better friend, someone better than me.

I distanced myself from them because I just couldn't bare it, their lives are so perfect and joyful and mine is full of issues and stress.

Why couldn't I be born as them, why can't I have the life they have? They travel around the world while I just stay put. I listen to their stories and how happy their vacations are while I spend my vacations at home.

I wish I could be proud of them because they deserve it, they really do. And, they are the best friends ever. Absolutely.

I want a better relationship with God but all I ever do is sin and ask for forgiveness. I can't keep living like this because it's hurting me.

I wish I could have a better body, better teeth, and a better smile. I know I suck and have hurt a lot of people in the past.

I just want to apologize because I feel so much guilt and I can't keep living like this it's just too much for me. I'm sorry everyone.