I have been cheating on my husband off and on for 6 years. I can say without doubt that the affair is over, but there is a long road ahead of me to repentance, and I pray to find my husband still wants me as I am on that journey and that I will stay on the right path.
I have been incredibly blind and stupid, as what I've had is more than any woman could've asked for. I hope this letter to him shows that I am serious. Here is my letter:
As I sit here thinking of my actions, I need to write this apology. I am incredibly embarrassed and shamed of the past 6 years of lies and cheating, more importantly the embarrassment, and unequivocal hurt and sadness it has brought to you and our kids. It is so hard to think of the tremendous damage I have caused to break apart every good thing you were trying to build for our family and our future.
I was feeling hurt and lost in our marriage, with finances and other worries not knowing how to reach out or talk to you, and a want to prove my desirability. Those are just my feelings and not excuses or blame. I take full responsibility for what I have done, and do truly want what is best for the entirety of you and the kids.
You are right, I am not a child and need to act like a grown woman, and I am going to
act like one and own what is mine. What I did was the dumbest and most selfish thing a person could do, and I will never do it again.
These are my words, which probably don't mean much to you now, but I will show you. You will say you've heard this a thousand times, but I will for once prove it to you, even if it means we are not together. Any woman would be lucky to have you, and I will be working toward deserving that once again if you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I Do Love You!
I have so much to learn, I want to be a person you can trust in and find love in once again. I can't thank you enough for not giving up on me, as I have felt like a lost soul, and now I see some light. I so often have been ready to just fall into the dark pit of despair and give up, but miraculously I saw a hand in the darkness, saying hold on and fight.
You are more than I could have ever imagined, and I have been so blind, you were right before my eyes and I walked right through you, on you. You don't deserve that, you deserve to be equally lifted and not brought down, a hand reaching out to you saying let's walk side by side, not one in front of the other. I'm so sorry so so sorry Joe.