It's never too late to apologize to a friend. Holding on to the past and feeling a deep sense of regret only hurts us in the end. By saying sorry and admitting that we were wrong is a first step in forgiving ourselves, learning from our mistakes, and making sure that they aren't repeated.
Lois writes about the worst behavior of her life....
Some forty years ago I outright betrayed my best friend in a shameful, infantile, and stupid display of cowardice and conceit.
This person had literally rescued me from an extraordinarily bad home life and gave me, for the first time in my life, an opportunity to discover that life needn't be just about monotony, fear, guilt and shame.
She deserves heroic status in the history of me.
Unfortunately, and for no rational reason whatsoever, my behavior toward her was to treat HER as if she'd been not the hero but the enemy. The guilt and remorse I have suffered as a result has on several occasions persuaded me to crave any way out of my misery, definitely including THAT ONE. But having a daughter to raise has curtailed those Impulses.
Now I have ostensibly pulled my act together, and have pulled together a life which definitely includes beloved friends and family to whom I believe I behave well. But there is nonetheless a continual flow of memory reminding I was outrageously unkind and unfair to someone I loved, and who never wavered in her loyalty to me.
I want so much for her to know I'm
not like that NOW - DID value our times together, DID love, respect and admire her. I miss you always, Debby
Anne writes about forgiveness...
I never really understood the saying, "forgive yourself before you forgive others" but now I do. We are literally apologizing to ourselves before the person we want forgiveness from.
I apologize. Though the saying forgive and forget doesn't always apply. I have tried many times to apologize to others and they have a grudge on their backs. I guess I never truly forgave myself for what I did.
I truly am sorry for what I said in the moment. My feelings affected my thoughts which turned into actions.
This is for all the people I need to apologize to, even if you may not forgive me, I am sorry.
I'm sorry for setting you in the box I left in the attic. I'm sorry for the times I blew you off when there was no reason to. I'm sorry for the late night calls I didn't answer. I'm sorry for locking you out of my house when you needed a place to call home. I'm sorry for letting you get wet in the rain and splashing you as I drove by. I'm sorry for the tears I could not wipe away from your face. I'm sorry for not cherishing you enough. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to make you happy. I'm sorry for breaking your heart, I didn't mean to.. I thought you were going to leave me in dust.