Dear V...I started to write this the Sunday after we arrived in Cairns. I have only just been able to finish it.
I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am for what happened between us. I miss what we had so much and it hurts me to know that I hurt you too. I miss you V.
I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you on the phone that fateful morning. I was trying to defend myself. I was upset, hurting, angry and confused and not thinking clearly. I'm not proud of how I treated you. I really liked you and I thought you had feelings for me too, it devastated me to realize that I had got it so wrong. I have never clicked with someone the way that we did, it seems such a waste to throw that all away.
I got scared and I ran to try to avoid being hurt, but it was too late, I already was. I thought that if I continued to travel with you I would fall for you even deeper. Then, after we got back I would have had to let you go and that would have broken my heart. As it happened I should have stayed because I missed out on so much and hurt and disappointed you in the process. I'm truly sorry for leaving you.
The time we spent together were some of the happiest, carefree and honest times of my life. I was myself and enjoyed every second in your company as the distance flowed through us. It is something I will never forget and memories I will cherish. Thank you for that experience, I just wish it could have lasted longer.
It has been a difficult month for me, some days I'm ok, others I remember how things ended between us. It still hurts me now just as much as it did then. My skin still stings when I think about you. I still haven't looked at the photos I took, because I am afraid I will break in two.
I think you are gorgeous, you amaze me and you are interesting and mysterious. You are a free spirit and I admire that in you.
I have never met anyone like you. It's upsetting for me to think that we might not be friends anymore. You mean a lot to me, our friendship means a lot to me and I hope that we can discover that again. I knew I wanted you in my life since the first time we looked at the stars together.
I made a mistake and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I hope that you contact me soon, even if it's just to let me know that you have read this letter.
Please know that I care about you and hope that you are happy.