I'm sorry, I love you, I'm stupid

Sorry.... I really don't want to leave, I don't really want to go without talking to you, hugging you, kissing you. I don't really want to leave beside you, when I'm thinking of you, my palm hurts. I tried searching why is it that if I feel heartbroken, I feel pain in both of my hands? I don't know what to do. I even tried crying but I can't make my tears pour from my eyes, it's just stuck behind my eye.

I'm scared, scared because if you see me cry again because I can't get you back, maybe, maybe you will think that I'm just acting my way and not really putting any feeling or thinking about what I did..

I know I'm wrong and I feel so stupid about it.. I love you so much and I will do everything for you and don't ever think that there was or there will be a time that I stopped or will stop loving you. Because each and every day since the day that I fell in love with you all I can think of every day is you.

It pains me to think of a life where I will not be able to see your face, to talk to you, to hold you, to kiss you.

You make me feel different in many ways and the thing I hate the most is if I make you feel mad or disappointed, it makes me want to crush my hands by punching a wall just to make this stupid heartache and palm ache go away.

I'm sorry I can't be the man that you expected me to be sometimes, always.

I'm sorry for not being manly enough to talk when you're mad and instead wait until you demand me to talk.

Sorry for not understanding the words you said, I don't know why I'm like this, I feel like a shitty person with a shitty brain that makes people's words scramble and turns them into new sentences.

I'm sorry for not being able to say this verbally. I can't say good things like this verbally. I'm not really good with talking and I always stutter and do not think of what I should say and end up making you mad (I just don't think period).

I love you so much. Sorry, can you forgive me and get your heart back?

I can't promise that I will not make you cry again because it's me. I'm stupid, I do stupid things impulsively.

But I do promise not to leave your side, although if you told me to leave you, just remember that you can always call me anytime and I will come to you until you tell me to leave.


It's okay if you say no but can we still be friends..