Maybe I Could Have Done More As Your Counsellor
Dear (J)... I am not sure exactly and specifically what I wish to apologise for because in the situation so much was not in my control and was within your control when you took your own life. As a counsellor I knew the risk was there of you taking your life and I took the risk of trying to help you.
Maybe I had a false sense of confidence in myself and you.
I am not sure if I over estimated what you could achieve through your short number of sessions, whether I should have referred you on or whether I could have done better.
I know there are things I could have done better but also know these may not have made a difference.
Only you will truly know whether I should have broken confidence or referred you on. I am apologising in case I should have done more to help you.
It was some time ago now and as a legacy to you please know I have worked with a number of other people in distress and know that I have helped them - I so wish you had survived what you were going through … you had so many possibilities ahead of you and I wish I had spent a bit more time looking at these and your reasons to live.
So if this had of helped enough people to make a difference I apologise for not directing this in our conversation.