Shannon... I made a mistake at the infancy of our relationship and I still regret it to this day and probably will forever. I lied about something I thought was not important.
Before I knew it, I had started falling in love or ( I ❤ you!). I didn't fess up immediately as I should have, and I am so sorry... I was a damn love drunk fool.
I tried to explain my actions(while intoxicated) and in a panic which only made things worse. Grasping at straws like an immature boy.
The truth is I waited to tell you face to face because that was the way I was always told to do things. As a man, you tell your mistakes to their face so they can fully give you all of their emotions ...so there would be no residual parts left.
I do realize this is old school thinking, and in our situation was stupid.
I wanted to tell you as soon as you arrived here, but all I could think of doing was hugging you, kissing you, and professing my love to you.
I had been eagerly awaiting your arrival at my window like an impatient birthday boy, waiting for his beautiful one of a kind cake.
Once in, my heart literally exploded and my love grew 100 fold in a matter of seconds. All I could think of was "us".
Later after your conversation with your mom, it brought back the idiotic mistake...my lie. So I fessed up.
I would very literally give up anything, even my artistic ability (you know what that means to me) just to be able to go back and act correctly.
You became the center of my world in a short time, but nonetheless... you are.
Recently, I tried to move forward. But I can't.
Countless tears, cussing myself, I realized, this wasn't infatuation ... it somehow was and is, LOVE! We are SOULMATES!
I don't know why or how, but all I think about is you. How sweet and loving you are. Your nose crinkle when you smile, the way you take care of me even when upset.
I have begged and pleaded. ...so I am here to tell the world..(I am a damn fool! I lied to the most perfect woman in the world!)
I never said I was perfect. And I know how lies affect you now...this is the internet babe. Everyone can see this.
Post it anywhere you want. I'm doing this so you can see that I love you more than life itself!
Everything I do, I want to tell you about just so you will be proud!!
I want to eventually be with you always, spoil you the way you deserve!( I'm on my way now!)
I make this promise in front of the entire world!!!
I WILL NEVER LIE TO YOU AGAIN, ABOUT ANYTHING! NO MATTER HOW EMBARRASSING OR WHAT THE OUTCOME MAY BE! I WILL ONLY LOVE YOU, CHERISH YOU, PUT YOU ON A PEDESTAL AND MAKE SURE YOU KNOW, YOU ARE THE MOST GORGEOUS WOMAN IN THE WORLD!
Please baby, please...forgive me!
I understand now and forever how total honesty is the only option in our life. Please, give me another chance, I won't fail you.
I was dumb at the beginning but never again. I would rather die first!
I love you forever. No matter what I won't give up. I can't.