Sorry Friend

Dear E... It's been years since we last spoke, and I was the one to put the nail in the coffin after you tried for weeks to work through the issues within our friendship. I didn't know how bitter, ungrateful and resentful I was then. I pinned all of my pain and anger on you instead of having an honest conversation about how I felt about what happened way back when.

I was immature and spiteful when we spoke, yet for the most part you remained calm and focused; prepared to resolve the countless issues that I perpetuated in order to make you feel my pain.

I guilt tripped you, I blamed you, insulted you and I betrayed my dearest friend.

I am sorry for what I said and how I behaved. I am sorry that I blocked you after saying such vile things, not even giving you a chance to respond. I am sorry that I blamed you all this time.

I am sorry that it has taken me so long to even consider my actions and to realize that I owe you an apology, and I am sorry that at this time I am only able to say all of this to no one in particular.

You had told me only a month prior to the fighting that you developed feelings for me, and I chose to rub salt in your wounds after rejecting you. You hardly showed it, but now I am sure that I hurt you much more than I ever could have imagined at that time.

I feel shocked and ashamed of myself for having been so self absorbed and apathetic towards you. I never stopped loving you for the wonderful person you are, and I am so sorry that I implied that I stopped because you didn't accept the abuse I put you through.

I don't expect you to forgive me, I don't even expect you to acknowledge my apology when I send it, but regardless, you deserve to hear it, even if it is rather late. I cherish our time spent together. Do take care, - A