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Sorry Friend

Dear E... It's been years since we last spoke, and I was the one to put the nail in the coffin after you tried for weeks to work through the issues within our friendship.

I didn't know how bitter, ungrateful and resentful I was then. I pinned all of my pain and anger on you instead of having an honest conversation about how I felt about what happened way back when.

I was immature and spiteful when we spoke, yet for the most part you remained calm and focused; prepared to resolve the countless issues that I perpetuated in order to make you feel my pain.

I guilt tripped you, I blamed you, insulted you and I betrayed my dearest friend.

I am sorry for what I said and how I behaved. I am sorry that I blocked you after saying such vile things, not even giving you a chance to respond. I am sorry that I blamed you all this time.

I am sorry that it has taken me so long to even consider my actions and to realize that I owe you an apology, and I am sorry that at this time I am only able to say all of this to no one in particular.

You had told me only a month prior to the fighting that you developed feelings for me, and I chose to rub salt in your wounds after rejecting you. You hardly showed it, but now I am sure that I hurt you much more than I ever could have imagined at that time.

I feel shocked and ashamed of myself for having been so self absorbed and apathetic towards you. I never stopped loving you for the wonderful person you are, and I am so sorry that I implied that I stopped because you didn't accept the abuse I put you through.

I don't expect you to forgive me, I don't even expect you to acknowledge my apology when I send it, but regardless, you deserve to hear it, even if it is rather late. I cherish our time spent together. Do take care, - A

Comments for Sorry Friend

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I'm Sorry Too Dear Friend
by: Arrietta

Hey Cece.
I've been trying to write this since last night, but I couldn't get the right words. Because of things going on in my family, I've found myself dumping my problems on people, especially you.

I only do this because you are so, so nice, and tend to understand where I am coming from.

When I saw your email about walking to camp alone, I was about to write this letter, and panicked, scared you wouldn't accept my apology. Even if you don't accept it, I want you to know that It wasn't fair for me to spill all my feelings onto you.

I shouldn't have been angry that you were defending Grace, I would do the same thing for one of my friends.

Letting this small argument turn into a full blown fight wasn't a good move for me, and I want to suggest taking a little break, not trying to avoid each other, but not putting ourselves into a situation that could start another fight.

Wow. Expressing the right emotions is so much harder when you aren't face to face.

I got hurt in this fight, and it was completely my fault. You don't need to forgive me, or even ever talk to me again, I just want you to know I'm sorry.

Missing you,
Arrietta

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