Sorry in the Sand
(West Monroe, Louisiana)
I wrote, "Forgive me," to my husband in the sand at a beach. Took a pic on my phone and texted it to him. That's after a multi-shot photo of hand written letters saying how sorry I am and that I love him.
We have been together off & on for 10 years & 4 children. On February the sixth 2012 we finally got married. It's been a rough 11 years.
There's been violence and abuse the whole time. The first year of our marriage was spent more off than on. We had been separated for about 3 and a half months when I met an older man through work. This older man I thought was everything that I needed from my husband. We became close friends. One thing led to another and I had an affair. I was nauseated, ashamed, broken-hearted, angry, and extremely sad at what I was doing.
Even though I had filed for divorce 3 or 4 months prior. I just felt wrong. On a weekend visit my husband found and read my journal. That's how he found out about the affair. Now he sees how I felt all these years. Hurt, betrayed, rejected.
I still felt bad so that's how I apologized. My husband is the love of my life. I'll never love him like I used to before the hurt and pain but I will love him forever.