To my Ex-Husband, I'm Sorry

Today, I would have been married to you for 22 years. I still remember, what I deem to be, the best day of my life.

It has been 15 years and I still have such regret, sadness and heartbreak for something I'll never, ever get back.

I have never loved anyone the way I loved you.

I reflect back on my choices, my behaviors and final decisions and wish I could change everything. After all these years, I think I finally know why I did the things I did.

However, I have never forgiven myself for the hurt, betrayal and destruction I caused you, your heart and the demise of our marriage.

The pain I still feel is good, because I feel I deserve it for my selfish and inexcusable actions. You NEVER EVER deserved what I did. You were truly the best thing that ever happened to me.

I know you moved on, as you should have.

I don't think I could ever trust someone or give the person another chance after what I did. I will never re-enter your life or attempt to make contact with you.

You're free or so I hope, of the pain of me, any memories of me or any past attachments.

My greatest hope is you are happy, that she makes you happy and you're living the best life you can.

I will always thank God for you, for the time I did have and the years we had together. You must know, everything that happened was entirely my fault.

I accept responsibility and I will take it to my grave.

Happy Anniversary, I'll celebrate mentally with thoughts of you. I'd love nothing more than to be with you again, to share a meal, conversation and walk.

I miss you terribly at times and will never get over my loss.

-My Black Heart

Comments for To my Ex-Husband, I'm Sorry

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Tell him
by: Betrayed ex-husband

Let him know. Not as an apology for him to accept (or not), not as an attempt to get his forgiveness, so you feel relieved in some way, but as a clear unmistakable acknowledgement that you were deeply unfair.

You were self-centered, egotistic, narcissist, aggressive, and wrong... you are guilty, you caused harm, pain, havoc and damaged his confidence, self-esteem... try and give back at least some of what you took away.

Me too!
by: JJ

Oh, how I understand where you're coming from. You put into words exactly the apology letter I should've written to my ex but now it's too late.

He passed last year and I feel terrible about never letting him know how sorry I am about what happened between us.

I know you don't want to meddle in his life in any way so I can understand why you wrote this here.

Please if you think it will help him move on, or close that chapter in his life in any way, then somehow find a way of letting him read this.

It's a tough thing, sometimes I think I wanted to tell him for my sake and not his, to get it off my chest. I don't know.

I just know that it would have been a small gesture on my part to let him know that it was me who was completely in the wrong and that I take full responsibility.

I never admitted it to myself until it was too late. I never admitted it to him.

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