You're Too Good For The Likes of Me

by R
(NZ)

I try each day to be better than yesterday so I can show you the way.
I want to be the best for you so you can be the best you too.

Sometimes I think I've grown and yes, perhaps I have, but I struggle to keep my temper in check when I become frustrated.

I know all the theory, I know what to do. But putting it into practice, I don't know why it goes wrong.

My eyes glaze and I get angry why can't I just be good enough? Why can't you just understand?

I hate that my temper flares and I hate that I can't separate my emotions from training you.

I hate that I yelled at you. I hate that I used force on you with ill intent. I hate that I confused you, scared you and hurt you.

I hate myself for wronging you.

I know you forgive me because you can't be plagued with emotion. You can't hold a grudge.

I am too lucky to know that next time I see you, you will nicker and come running up to me.

I will be grateful and thankful that you still hold love for me.

I promise to try harder, to be better for you. I will try my best to tame my emotions.

Next time we see each other, we will do our best. We will be a team again.

A girl and her horse...learning together.

A girl fighting her demons. A girl learning to be kind.

Comments for You're Too Good For The Likes of Me

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We all have our demons....
by: Anonymous

My situation is not all that different....just change the players.

Even though you forgive me I just cannot forgive myself and I won"t.

I know I've ruined every trust aspect there was and I'm ready to face the consequence because there's nothing that's going to hurt me more then laying in bed day after day staring at a blank wall feeling my heart shatter.

Replaying everything, replaying the memories, crying so much that I can't open my eyes the next day.

You have been through so much pain and heartache and I was the one who was suppose to get you through that, who was suppose to lift your spirits and self esteem, but I was the one who broke and tore you down, and now I'm deservedly left alone and broken.

I screwed up, I was suppose to show you there are better people out there, but I made myself look bad and failed at my job.

I replay the hurt in your eyes and cry because I never meant to hurt you. No sorry could ever fix the pain you've endured but I'm so so sorry.

I never wanted to hurt you. I know I can't beat myself up over this forever but it just amazes me how you forgive me time and time again. I need to be punished.

I love you with every bone in my body and second of breath that I take.

I'm sorry.

Just a girl learning how to love. A girl hoping to be less stubborn.

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