An Apology To Myself

An Apology To Myself

by Ashley R. & Lily

Sometimes it's important that we take the time to apologize to ourselves. Too many of us treat ourselves with less respect than we do others. Taking the time to write ourselves a heartfelt apology letter is an important step to healing. Here are two brave soles who took the time to show themselves how important they are to their own journey.

From Ashley R. in Michigan

I need to take this moment to apologize. Now this is not an ordinary apology but one that is needed nonetheless. It is an apology to myself.

It is an apology for all the time my mind told me "no" yet I listened to my heart which was screaming "hold on, he's the one."

I want to start off by saying I apologize for not having the confidence and the self-esteem to walk away at the first red flag... or the ten red flags.

I apologize for dragging my heart through a war only to look back and think "I saw all of the signs at the beginning but I didn't listen." Specifically, I am sorry that I let him treat me that way. I am sorry that I let him make me cry and then went back for more. I am sorry that I let him call me names and tell me lies and although I could see right through them... I went back for more.

I'm so sorry that I didn't listen to my intuition from the beginning. I'm sorry that I tried to deny my inner voice and tried to follow my heart into what I thought might be my destiny. But I will say despite what I've done and despite the hurt I've caused myself... I am so thankful that in the end I did eventually walk away. Heart broken and discouraged... but I did eventually end it.

And I think
I should take this moment to apologize in case I decide to trust in fate, destiny, and true love and follow my heart into another battle field... although I pray I surrender to my mind and intuition. Dear heart and soul... I am sorry.

From Lily

I have voiced many apologies during my lifetime, to others. Things I have felt so badly about, which I could not have helped.

Right now, at this moment, I need to apologize to my own self, for feeling ashamed of myself, for what I have revealed lately about insecurities to a man who loves me.

I feel so ashamed, it rocks my foundation. I want to run and hide. I know better, I know about accepting ALL of myself, all that isn't truly who I AM, but habits from long ago that step into the present and taint my perception, and can have the ability to ruin this loving relationship.

I feel such distress...I apologize to my self for judging myself so harshly, for not being able to reach a level of Mercy that could make the difference. I am still not there.

I am so sorry I could not be gracious and joyful tonight with this man, on his birthday which I prepared a dinner for, because I felt such a distance from him. I can FEEL his distance, he says nothing is wrong.

I apologize, I am sorry...I am so sorry for perhaps creating a problem that isn't there. I am sorry for the pain I cause myself, unwittingly.

I know this reads as scattered, I could be so much more articulate. But right now, I can't. I want to hide. And what I DO do....99% of the time, especially this past two the opposite: To face, with open heart and awareness, to commit to this practice. But right now I want to run.

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