I'm Sorry For My Words

I am so so sorry for what I did and I urge you to hear me out. Even though you never want to hear from me again I feel I owe you an explanation as to whatever happened. Yes, a lot of the last few status updates were about you, but that's BECAUSE I didn't want to lose a friend and I was afraid it was happening and at the same time hoping that you realized what you meant to me.

Obviously, I screwed that up.

Yes, the rumors were baseless and something you shouldn't have cared about. Yes, the fight never happened. I never did slap him and yes he never did call you that.

Why I made these up is something I will never understand.

All I know is that I've never done ANYTHING so wrong in my life and the consequence is that I have to suffer.

I proved myself to be the biggest dick-headed loser this world has ever seen and you have every right not to want to hear from me again.

What I did is beyond all belief of anyone sane, for I crossed the line of trust and left along in its wake the destruction of honesty, faith and everything else that constitutes friendship.

Now I cannot even begin to hope for your forgiveness, though I will always seek it.

Believe me, I plead with you when I tell you that not an iota of my friendship was fake or forced.

I will ALWAYS consider you a close friend of mine, even though you don't consider me to be yours. And you are justified in doing so.. for I deserve nothing better.

And I NEVER started any rumors no matter how much you try to believe that I did. And even though I know you will not believe me, I can only hope that someday you will see what I mean.

No, I did not tell you I slapped *** to make me sound cool, it was part of the attempt to get back what I feared I was losing and I know now that I actually hastened it.

You have NO idea how much I regret my actions of that day.

I know ***** MIGHT have told you a long time back "don't trust him...", he'll eventually lead to something bad. But you may have ignored her, saying nothing like that is ever going to happen.

And I cannot tell you how much it pains me to have broken your trust, how much it rips me from the inside to have been such an absolute dog. And if she didn't...I'm still so so sorry.

About your picture -- I obviously made a mistake by editing it, for it eventually led to all of this but I expressly asked you if I was allowed to copy-paste it. Only after you had given me permission did I do so.

I am NOT two faced. You know that. Its just that I made a mistake for which I sincerely seek redemption.

I swear to you that I will NEVER again repeat what I have done and I ask you for a second chance to prove myself.

You really have no idea how much I valued your friendship.

Now I only hope that you will someday see what my mouth has done to me for I will never be able to forgive myself for what I did and I cannot even start to explain the regret I feel for having done so.

And just remember that if you EVER need a hand that you can count on and can't find one, mine will always be extended.

PLEASE don't hate me for this.