The final choices you make need to be based on the
particular situation in which you find yourself—refer back to
the three
fundamental questions on how to apologize if you need some help figuring
out where you fit in.
The table below provides a useful set of guidelines to find your best
written apology options.
| |
When to use |
Comments |
| Format |
|
Handwritten |
When the recipient of the apology was affected at a
personal level.
When the recipient is older and perhaps more traditional or
conservative in character. In this case a personal touch will be
appreciated.
When the relationship is intimate and you want to add a personal
touch.
|
Taking the time to write a letter by hand speaks
volumes about the importance you assign to the apology and the
respect you have for the recipient. |
|
Typed |
When you're dealing with a
business relationship or a
non-personal relationship (e.g. parent to teacher, fellow club
member). |
A typed apology is appropriate in all business
situations, although this should often be followed or preceded by a
verbal apology.
|
|
Card |
When you want to start with a pre-written sentiment
or add some relevant visual content to your apology letters.
|
This is certainly one of the easiest approaches, but
pre-scripted messages may ring hollow in some cases. Blank cards
with your written message is a common compromise.
|
|
Paper |
When typing an apology.
When the apology is business related.
|
Stationary or good quality paper should be used
for apology letters whenever possible, especially in business.
|
| Length |
|
Letter |
When the infraction is major or when the
repercussions are significant. |
More often than not the length of the apology will be
determined by the severity of the offence.
By following the guidelines to a
perfect apology, you will end up with the right length.
Itemizing the implications of your error will help to
convey your willingness to accept responsibility.
|
|
Note |
When the mistake is minor and the hurt caused
minimal.
When you feel a card format would add a nice
touch.
|
A quick note is a nice way to excuse yourself for
something minor or insignificant but important enough to be
addressed nonetheless. |
| Delivery |
|
Priority Mail |
When the mistake was serious .
When the relationship is more formal or distant.
When time is of the essence, but email is too informal.
|
Emphasizes your commitment to making things right
again by showing the recipient that you took the time to write the
apology, went to the post office, and paid extra to have it
delivered quickly.
Sending apology letters by priority post is less appropriate for
close or intimate relationships, unless the person is likely to be
out of town for an extended period. |
|
Regular Mail |
Appropriate for most situations. |
Shows concern for the situation and gives the
recipient the time to think things over prior to responding.
|
|
E-mail |
Email may be the best (and fastest) approach if
that's the way you typically communicate with this person, but using
an approach that is NOT typical (a written letter) may be the better
choice in some situations. |
Email can be an appropriate way of delivering apology
letters. However,
keep in mind that it lacks the personal touch of a handwritten
letter and doesn’t have the same impact as opening an envelope and
reading a letter while holding it in your hands.
|
|
Hand Delivered |
When the relationship is close or intimate.
When you feel more comfortable expressing yourself in writing, even
in an intimate relationship.
When you want the person you hurt to have something tangible that
reflects how sorry you are.
|
Depending on the severity of the infraction (the
recipient may not be open to seeing you at all), this is an ideal
way to resolve the impasse in the relationship by combining the
benefits of both a verbal and written apology.
|
