I’m writing this letter as an apology for my unessential behavior. I don’t really know where to start, I have so much to say but don’t know how to begin.
I know it's been hard for you and mom when I don’t act right, the worry I have put you both through, the pain. This upsetting mess has been so hard to for you guys to put up with. Why didn’t I respect all your commands or why didn’t I listen to you sometimes even when you sat there and talked to me nicely? I don’t even understand it myself--why I do these thing that raise your blood pressure and makes you feel hurt. And this sorrow was caused by my selfish and thoughtless behavior.
I can’t very much explain my actions, neither justify why I do them. My excuse would be it’s a generational thing and I copy what I see. I remember you always remind me to be the leader and the only time that I should follow is when the leader I choose to follow is Jesus. Many people would say how, or I’m not perfect but, it’s because they never try because if Jesus was perfect we can be too. Many people can say that it’s impossible to be like Jesus but in a song I’ve heard that 'impossible' is just reason or word for someone not to try.
I’ve lied and hurt you so badly. And I can never take back what I did as much as I wish I could turn the clock backwards and make the right decisions.
You’ve been the only one that has stuck up for me, even when mom would say something that's not right to me. But, I’ve proved you wrong now. All those time that you’ve been telling her to not say stuff like that to me has gone to waste because I’ve proved you wrong.
You’ve loved me unconditionally, trusted me, and you truly cared for me. Most importantly you’ve worked hard for all my needs and genuinely wanted what’s best for me. I know I’ve lost your trust, care, and kindness. But one thing I also know is that you still love me because if you didn’t you wouldn’t get mad when I do wrong. You wouldn’t punish me when I do wrong. You wouldn’t let me do what I want that’s wrong.
I really want to be the good and perfect daughter of your dreams, like when I was first born. I do want to earn back your trust, care, and kindness. I want to be the daughter that makes you proud. But when I act sometimes I don’t think about what’s going to happen next, and what the consequences will be, or the hurt and the pain you feel as a result of my actions.
In a flash of my eyes I’ve done wrong and made you angry.
When you ask me how do I feel after I can’t explain them verbally but, to be honest I can write my feelings on a sheet of paper. I can talk all day about a topic but, when it comes to talking about my feelings I take that as a difficult challenge.
I know I shouldn’t be afraid to talk to you about anything but, most times, I just am. Because most of the times that I would come to you is to tell you about the actions I’ve done and it’s hard because I don’t know how to talk about my feelings. I can think about how you will respond and if I don’t tell you now what could happen later.
I’m not perfect, I know that’s not a good excuse but when I lie to you I feel guilty. And I don’t get a prize for lying I just get the effect from it. I think the reason people lie is because they don’t want the truth to come out. I cried because I realized I brought out the worst in you. In my heart I know that I’m a good daughter. I do have good intentions, I do not go about them in the right way.
I love you so dearly, with all my heart and soul, more than anything in this world.
I know when I was born you were so happy to have one and only one daughter. And I know that you didn’t expect or plan on me being like this. I’ve treated you unfairly, every time I think about it I know it’s not the right thing to do. I don’t really know why I have acted the way I have but, I know that I’m going to find a way to fix it.
I’ve broke one of God's commandments I didn’t: "Honor your father and your mother that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you."
I am sincerely sorry for all the sorrow I’ve caused you. I am going to show you how thankful I am to have you as my dad. I am asking for one more chance of your trust and caring to show you that I really and truly mean what I say. I am going to make decisions and I am going to make good ones. I am going to try to be the perfect person and daughter. I am asking for your forgiveness for my wrongs and asking for that chance to prove you that I can do better.
I’ve prayed about my situation and asked God to forgive my sins.