This apology letter is for you Denise....Over the past year I have done nothing but cut you out of the happenings of my life. To an extent, we still don't know each other, but you know enough about me through my terrible actions.
I have ignored you, questioned minute things, and talked behind your back. All of this is a disappointment and not the right thing to do.
You won't be going anywhere because you are happy with my dad (and you make him happy, too). I have struggled to cope with another woman being my father's rock, for you are not my mother. But the past does need to be set free (in due time).
I have overblown the situations at home because I felt uncomfortable, and by doing so, I have adversely affected not only you, but your children, as well. I have no excuses, and I know that you are fed up with my behaviour.
I never mean to hurt anyone, but over the past year, I have hurt you on countless occasions. I feel sick to my stomach that I have caused you this pain. Neglecting you and the things you've done for me was not, and is not, the answer.
I don't know how I will act in a month's time, let alone a year's time. I hate making people angry, and I never see clearly. I will hopefully say something like this to you in person, but for now this will be kept on the internet forever.
I struggle to show compassion and appreciation, which then makes me cold-hearted and unpleasant. The thought of this conflict potentially being the last thing any of us talks about frightens me, because no one wants to die angry. I know that you care for me, but I have a difficult time accepting all of this.
I am ashamed of my behaviour over the past year, cutting you out and neglecting you. That is not who I am, and that is not whom I wish to be. I am sorry for all of the hurt I have caused you; I wish I had chosen a different path of expression (a positive path) in the last 12 months. I am sorry for everything.