To My Parents, Sorry For Being A Failure and A Disgrace
Dear Mom and Dad... I know I have been acting very badly and it's causing you guys a lot of stress.
I know I'm doing very badly in school. I know that I need to change and I need to do it now while I still have time. I need to fix myself and stop causing you guys stress with my thoughtless actions.
I need to work on my impulse control because I act without thinking. It's really stupid of me and it can easily get me into a lot of trouble which it has.
I've made many bad decisions recently and every time, I wish I could turn back time and redo everything and make the right choices. That's not possible, so the closest thing I can do is start making the right choices now.
If I can't remake the right choices in the past, I at least have to do it in the present.
Your expectations for me weren't even that high, yet I still failed to meet them, because I didn't think before acting. I don't want to be a son that fails you but I feel like I already am.
I still have a little time to do some things right, but it's not much time and I need to take advantage of it by working harder and thinking about my actions before doing them.
Somehow in 2 months, I've managed to do everything wrong and make you lose every little bit of faith you had in me. That's not what I wanted to happen but it did, and there's no changing the past.
I'm really sorry for anything negative that's happened to you and it's all my fault.
In the next month until the semester ends, I will strive to do the best I can by thinking about my actions before doing them, making sure I get A's on all of my assignments, and not getting into any more trouble.
I'm really sorry about all of the back talking I did when you were mad at me. I was really just trying to tell you my opinion or the reason why I did whatever you were yelling at me about.
I'm sorry you took it as disrespectful back talking but I did not mean for it to seem like I was back talking. I was trying to politely argue but I guess I'm not good at the politely part.
I know I won't ever completely earn your trust back for me to make the right decisions, but I'll try my hardest to at least earn even a tiny bit of it back.
These past 2 months have been the worst of my life, and I'm the reason they were so bad. I'm the reason why I've been making my life miserable.
Everything bad that has happened to you or to me has been all my fault. I'll take all of the blame. Hold me responsible for everything bad that has happened recently because it's been all my fault.
If I hadn't been so stupid and senseless none of this would've happened.
Your disappointment and anger comes from me and me only, and knowing that makes me feel horrible inside. If I can partially change that it would mean the world to me.
You don't deserve any of the negative emotions you've felt recently because you're a good person and I know that if it weren't for me, you wouldn't have felt any of the negative emotions you're feeling now.
When I wasn't a failure, you were always there for me when I was down. Now you're so disappointed in me that whenever I feel down no one is there for me.
I deserve it and you shouldn't give me any support until I do better in school.
I'm sorry that I hurt you emotionally, and how I never listened to you, and I guess it's coming full circle now. I'm getting what I deserve.
I'm sorry for not thanking you enough when you provided everything I needed to become successful. You provided everything I needed to become successful and somehow I still found a way to toss it out of the window.
The only word I can think of right now is sorry, but I know that's not enough. Just saying sorry won't help anything.
I know we're on bad terms and I really need to do something about that, and I will try my best to improve our relationship.
I know you'll probably never forgive me for the things I've done, and I understand that but I'll still make sure to reach your expectations from now on.
I know I can't reverse the damage I've done to our relationship but hopefully I can make our relationship a little better by stepping up my game and trying my hardest.
I'm sorry for being so defensive about things when I should've listened to you and taken your advice. I know now that often times I'm wrong and you're right, so being defensive isn't helping either of us.
From now on I'll try to stop being defensive and if I want to say something, I'll tell you first so you know that I'm not trying to back talk but I'm trying to help you understand my crazy thought process.
I've been so selfish and thinking of myself over others which has to change or else I'll never get better at anything. I need to stop being so defensive when you're trying and giving me constructive criticism because even if you're yelling and swearing at me, you're still there to help me, and I haven't realized that until now.
I'm sorry for ruining your day and every day for the past few weeks. It was never my intention to make your life miserable but I guess I've done it.
It's literally the worst possible thing I could've done and I did it because I didn't use my brain enough when I needed to use it the most. I guess I just don't have any common sense because anyone with common sense wouldn't have done the things I did, and as a result, their life wouldn't be so bad now.
I'm sorry for bringing hurt, hate, and shame into the family, unlike anything Justin has ever done.
I'm sorry for failing you. I'm sorry for making you mad. I'm sorry for getting into so much trouble. I'm sorry for being such a bad student.
I'm sorry for not thanking you enough.
I'm sorry for everything I've ever done that impacted you in a negative way, and I hope I can fix some of our issues in the near future.