I know you probably wont see this, but I'm so sorry for making so many mistakes.
Last night, I hated how you yelled at me, because I never meant to hurt you. It was a miscommunication on my end, and now both of you are giving me the cold shoulder.
I feel terrible every time I make a mistake, because you guys never think it’s genuine, and I promise you it is.
It feels terrible, because you guys refuse to believe that I'm apologizing genuinely, and always think its for my personal gain, but its not. I promise I'm trying to get better, but you guys just won't believe me.
It hurts because I know you both went through the same thing as kids, and you say you want to make me and my siblings childhood better than yours, but currently it's having a few of the same things that you hated.
I know that you (dad) have been working for so many years to get out of medical school, and that everyone in the family has given up for it and we finally got there, and you (mom) have been trying your best to do your best to take care of us, but both of you just won't listen to me.
All of today you have both been giving me mean looks. I have been trying so hard over these last 10 months to change, and I have, but it feels like you both are determined to ignore me.
I have been trying so so so hard to show you how much I hate this behavior, but you keep going back to the same methods.
I know that I have made some dangerous mistakes in the past, but I am not the same sad, scared, and self-loathing person I was back then. But my issue is that you two keep acting like I am every time I make a mistake, and I promise I am not.
I am so sorry for not being like my siblings, but I can't help that. Did you guys know that every day I have to think hard about what I’m gonna ask or say to you because I feel like if I even say something wrong, you guys get mad?
I'm not asking y'all to stop feeling emotions, but sometimes you guys get way over dramatic. And, about last night, I'm sorry I essentially cornered you into letting my friend spend the night, but I really didn't mean to. I misunderstood and that's completely my fault.
But it hurts knowing that y'all think it was intentional, and that I don't regret my actions.
It hurts having to cry yourself to sleep on a couch with your other friend in the other room, and silently sob into a couch because you misread a text. And now, the day after, neither of you are being nice to me.
I have truly tried to apologize, I, shaking of fear, put a note saying I realized I made a mistake, and was truly sorry, but the only result was both of you begrudgingly talking to me.
I'm so sorry, and I love you both, but please, be like me and try, just try to change. I love y'all.